Dispatch from the last day before break

I'm wasting time at school. Supervising movie watching. We are all bored.

Grad school apps are mostly in. (One more to go. Trying to upload supplemental forms for another right now, but internet's really slow.)

Mostly just wondering what the point of today is. I should be packing and on the road. Alas. One more hour....

Really am in the city for the holiday

The lead singer of an indie rock band e-mailed my prof. They went to school together.

In elementary school.

There was a show in town tonight, so she invited me to come along with some of the other professors from the department. The other one who showed up I haven't seen since middle of my junior year.

It was fun to catch up. Fun to people-watch. I got an A for ability to try to make sense of the drunken dancing women's story. (Her friend hooks up with someone in the band on an annual basis. And when they're together the world stops. But they can't work it out....) And the one prof got to talk with the band. I didn't because they were at dinner when we showed up and we snuck out before the show was over. Long drive. And we're not night owls.

*Yawn* Actually, think it is time for me to retire. Just needed to write this where I could remember in the future. And figured it was worth sharing with you.

True Notebooks

...we would assume that what it was we meant

would have been listed in some book set down
beyond the sky's far reaches, if at all
there was a purpose here. but now I think
the purpose lives in us and that we fall

into an error if we do not keep
our own true notebook of the way we came,
how the sleet stung, or how a wandering bird
cried at the window ...

~Loren Eiseley

(Found at the beginning of True Notebooks by Mark Salzman)

I want to reread True Notebooks. Don't think I actually want to buy it to keep it, but after teaching here, think it'd be refreshing.

I wonder how much I keep my true notebook. I keep my notebooks. What I put in them is true. But I also leave out stories. Hopefully they get caught somewhere so that I can remember the full expierence of life here.

Variations on Pizza Night

A quick log so I can remember what I've tried this year. Making two pizzas a week does greatly increase my experimentation. If it bombs, then I won't try it again.

That said, I haven't had a bomb yet.


Always love the comfort of marina sauce with spinach, onion, garlic, and cheese on wheat crust.

Pumpkin sauce, caramelized onion, and walnuts (recommended for Allison).

Sourdough crust (thanks to Carl and Friends).

Sourdough bread broiled with toppings. (The dough kneaded beautifully, but the dough was super wet to make crust. Added more flour, let it rise again. Still too wet. Just baked into bread.)

Quesadilla pizza (cheese between tortillas) with whatever toppings. On those days when I can't get it together to make enough crust.

Some days

Some days take more out of you than they should.

Yesterday was one of those days. And I haven't gotten back to myself yet today. Still just exhausted, without being sure what's draining me.

Lots of work left to do and a fear that it won't get done. Eeep. Apologies to everyone who I haven't talked to the way we'd planned. Soon, I hope. Soon.

Musings on music and memories

I like making playlists in iTunes.

Some are time specific--Middle School Dance.
Or genre specific--Popular phase rockness.
Some are mood specific--Calming.
Remind me of a place--Camp associations.
Or a general idea of a life situation--Cheesy Lovely.
Sometimes I pick a word for a theme--Mail call.
Or my general mood--Nonsense syllables.

There are over 50 lists (after that I stopped counting).

Exactly two are named after people. Created to remind me of our relationship.

Two friends who never met each other. At one point I'm sure they knew of each other.

The two friends who attended camp with me for years (different camps). The ones who my college friends heard stories about when I talked about my childhood.

The two friends from my life before high school who I have any semblance of contact with now. Though it's pretty scarce.

One of them got married a few weeks ago. I went to the wedding because I needed that connection with my past. It's selfish, but made sense. Processing my emotions from her wedding has made me think more about the other one.

During tenth grade we e-mailed daily. In addition to frequent IM conversations. When I wrote him last weekend my subject, "Want more than an annual check-in," sums up our current communication.

Hearing back from him brightened my day. He's engaged now, to a girl I only know of from college away messages. And I'm happy for him. And happy that I'm happy. (I really was a mix of emotions after the wedding.)

I'm listening to my mix named after him. It must sound random to my housemate, but it makes me smile. Screaming summer. And dancing. And laughing at ourselves. Songs that became the subjects of our e-mails to each other. (I attribute my country music playlist to him.) Songs from away messages. Smiling in the comfort that while these songs don't describe either of us in our current lives they capture a snapshot of my past. It's nice to know that no matter how out of touch we are, some things don't change.

The List

Late night discussions led to me being asked to describe my ideal mate. (And comments on how strange that sounds.)

I didn't have it then. It's been too long since I've updated my list. Normally this stays hidden in my journal, but I feel like I owe people an answer and I don't feel like passing my journal around. (Who knows what secrets are hidden in there.)

7 things I'm looking For*

Trust--In a serious relationship, I have to be comfortable with you and want you to be comfortable with me.

Religion/Spirituality--Doesn't have to be mine. Does need to be open to mine.

Low-key--I get stressed out enough for us all some days. Also, I'm not looking for a super-intense relationship right now. That said, if I do find myself in one, I hope it will be serious. Just able to be chill about everything at the same time.

Other friends--In college I had multiple social circles, to the point where some of my best friends still do not know each other. (Though they do hear stories about each other.) At least in a new relationship I'll want to maintain some separateness to our spheres.

Patient--Based on my record so far, you better believe I'll redefine taking it slow.

Nerdy--Apparently I like nerds. Knowing me, this should not surprise you. I am one.

Not Desperate--Ummm....yeah. I mean, if you are desperate that's fine. Just don't be painfully obvious about it.


*Disclaimers.

This list may not be the top 7 things I'm looking for.

Obviously the list evolves over time. For instance, most days not desperate would not be included. Normally there'd be more reference to shared values, life goals, or something.

I don't foresee telling anyone, "You match my list! We're meant to be!" Nor do I plan on rejecting anyone because they don't match the list. I mean, the list is a guide to remind me what I think I'm prioritizing, nothing formal.

Snowday Babble

Snow days are even better when you're a teacher. I guess being an adult with kids will add another perspective, but at this stage in life, absolutely love them.

It's only been 5 and a half months since our last blizzard, but this one felt more...blizzardy. I actually got out in the wind and snow a little bit. The power went out. Cell phone towers were down. My car needs significantly more digging out. Growing up in the south, shoveling snow is not a skill I learned as a kid. That said I moved a bunch today.

But what really made this blizzard better than last year is the people I've spent it with. (No offense to the person who drove out to spend the last one with me.) I think we've struck a good balance between being together and being at our own places. Or maybe it's just that this is a group that's low-key enough that even when we're in the same space, I can take time to myself and have it be cool.

Regardless, I loved the impromptu slumber party last night. Dinner and a movie and a dance and then we're just huddled under blankets talking. I don't want to venture into the cold (especially after feeling lost in the storm the previous night). When I woke up in the morning, I found my backpack, pulled out my book and read lazily.

Cozy. Comfortable. A whole lot happier than a week ago.

Breaks are good. Unexpected breaks with friends are fabulous.

Prohibiting cows

Apologies if this post is incoherent. It's late and has been a bizarre day. This is my attempt at preserving a few memories from this evening.


A party I was at got busted by the cops. (I told you it was bizarre. I was at a party? And one that had reason to get busted?)

People had to dump remaining alcohol down the drain. No one from my room was arrested*--at least not before my car left. It's Halloween and Friday night to boot. It's not even 11 pm local time, but partying isn't allowed here. And I guess we're being loud. Maybe?

An hour later we're still driving home. We made it past at least one speed trap and who knows what else. Haven't seen anyone else on the road for 15 minutes. Just singing along with the 90's mix CD, driver's sipping coffee to help stay alert. A car in coming toward us in the other lane, so she turns off her brights. Then the car pulls a U-turn in front of us. We're slowing down trying to figure out what's going on while it turns on flashing lights.

More cops.

Can they pull us over if they're in front of us? What's going on?

He pulls into the other lane, that's the left hand side of the road for anyone keeping track.

Ummm...what do we do? Pull over to the right?

Finally we see them.

Cows. Outside of their pasture. Illuminated by headlights and accessorized with red and blue flashes.

He didn't turn on the waaahn-siren, but did have the beeping one going for a bit.

I'm sorry I don't have a picture of cows being pulled over. I fumbled for the camera, but didn't even try to take it. It really is as strange as it sounds.

And I'm relieved to be home where there should be no reason for police to visit.








*No one at said party was underage. However the party was being held in a dry county. I think we're all glad not to be having a lesson in dealing with legal paperwork.

I just wanna take a nap.

Apparently there's a really cool spider outside my window.

I know because the kids from next door are outside my window talking and banging around on the trailer.

Outside it's not that loud. But in my room it is. Paper thin walls. And the way vibrations carry through solids. And the fact that I want to take a nap.

I went outside to see what the commotion was about. Trying not to be the grouchy old lady neighbor. The spider wrapped up another bug. There may or may not be an egg involved. All sorts of cool science learning opportunities. And while I was out there the kids ran away.

But they're back and banging around on the hitch of the trailer. And it just makes me cranky.

Let's get organized

When I left school 13 hours ago, rumors were beginning to circulate about what interruptions today's schedule would hold.

I arrived shortly after the assistant principal this morning. Asked what today would look like.

He doesn't know.

The principal may not be coming in. But he might have sent an e-mail about what he wants us to do.

Just needed to share that somewhere.

Post for MM

I don't do videos. Not usually at least. But after hours and hours of grading (yes, it is Saturday night) I took a break over at Freerice, clicked on an ad, and decided to let you see my favorite of the HungerBytes videos.



And with that, dear friends, sleep well. It's 12 til midnight and I'm going to bed. So much for not working tomorrow....

After School

She has her name tattooed on her arm.

I met her an hour ago as we walked down the hall. Her friend came in for tutoring. She was going...somewhere.

"Oh, come on. I can help you too."

"I'm not even a student here." I give her a look. "I go to the alternative school."

And so she's spent an hour watching me babble about fractions. Her friend's on a bathroom break while I check two problems. I show her the mistakes that I'd warned against. Just trying to make conversation.

"Do you teach ninth graders too?"

"Yeah. I have students in ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelfth grade."

She asks if I teach this guy. Turns out he's her boyfriend. They met five months ago, and started dating almost immediately.

Apparently their relationship is going through some rough times.

She doesn't want to talk about it. Doesn't want to cry like she always does when she thinks about it. Without my asking, she tells me anyway.

She lost the baby.

It was a miscarriage.

He blames her for it.

And the worst part is, he was so mad he told her he hated her.

I reassure her the miscarriage was not her fault. I say it must be traumatic.

I don't know that I approve of her relationship, but I don't tell her that. I tell her that she needs to make sure that he gets over the hate before she faces him again. She reassures me that they're past that point already.

I'm not a marriage counselor. I've only had one boyfriend. We broke up after he sent me the "Check yes or no" note. Love was too strong a commitment for this second grader.

Her friend returns. Her shifts awkwardly conveying the message. This conversation is over. I tell them that my relationship advice is consistent: communication is key.

We laugh and it's back to practicing fractions with her friend.

I look back at her in wonder. She has the tough demeanor, tougher than most of my students. To tell your story to an almost stranger though, that kind of vulnerability takes courage beyond belief.

Sunday morning breakfast

I've come down with a cold. It's not miserable yet, but my throat's sore and my breath's gone rotten.

I'm not normally an oatmeal for breakfast person, but this morning decided that the warm softness of oatmeal was exactly what my body wanted. (Especially since they recommend staying away from dairy product when you have a cold.)

I didn't think we had raisins, so I browsed the internet for some inspiration while my water boiled.

Ended up playing with Chocolate Oatmeal with some hints from Creme Brulee Oatmeal. Added brown sugar, coco powder, little bit of vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg to my oatmeal as it was setting. Topped it off with frozen raspberries. Another day, I might add a few pecans to it. But for now, it's just about perfect.

It might actually get me to like oatmeal.

Homecoming week means not so much planning

Wind. Lightening. Open sky.

It was a weird drive home. Hauntingly gorgeous. Made surreal by the lack of rain and thunder. Like you were in a movie theater but the music was cut off to indicate that something truly major is just about to happen.

Resisting the urge to pull over, I turned on some calming music. And my nightowl housemate was in bed before I made it home.

I'm adjusting

Mom commented tonight about how I'm coping better than a year ago. Things that used to drive me crazy are just par for the course. It's homecoming week, so we have more chaos than usual.

When the egg toss is scheduled for lunch on Tuesday instead of during the field day on Thursday, I've learned not to question too much. Only to wonder how late we'll be to 5th period. And when it's announced that we'll report to 5th period and then be called out for the toss, I managed to have students get started on their warm-up journals. Kept going with the work until we were called out. We left. I was skeptical that we'd come back (40 minutes left in class, but you know how long an egg toss can take...), but was ready to go when we did.

I don't like it. It's still frustrating. (I won't see those kids for the rest of the week.) But my expectations for the school (and myself?) are lowered to a point where I can take some time off and return to sanity.

Big words don't always make you sound smart, but they might make me smile

The question:
"The symmetric property of equality says that if a=b, then b=a. How does this relate to what you know of symmetry?"

The student's answer:
a=b and b=a are the same in a retrospective way in that of they are reversed

Root for the home team

When I went to football games last year, I found a couple of younger teachers and sat there for the game.

Not tonight.

I mean, I started off that way. But then a couple who I met on my walk home from the post office last week walked by and invited me to sit with them. "Hey, I remember you! What are you making?" (A throw.) "That's real pretty. We're going to sit up there. Why don't you come with us?"

So I did. And chatted with them. He, especially, commented about how so many people don't stay here long because they feel isolated. "Here's our cell phone number. Call us."

They left. I was sitting next to a different group of teachers. Then waved to the admin office secretary and the custodian who cleans my room. So I joined them for a bit. Another teacher came by. (Yes, it is a school.) And then one of my students came up.

I think she wants attention. Realize this is stating the obvious, not a major realization. A ninth-grader coming up to two of her teachers during the football game. And talking to one of them for the entire second half. (Complete with moving to a new seat location after she went to buy a snack.) I feel like I could relate to her almost too much. This is another new school for her. She's smart, in addition to being ahead of her classes. She's independent. She likes to redecorate her pants and be crafty. I'm worried for her. Partly because high school was often miserable for me. Partly because I worry for all the students here. Partly because she just seems so desperate for attention so early in the year. I'm not sure how much I can give her, but I hope things like tonight help make some sort of difference. I hope the little bits add up.

We lost the game, but I still feel like it was a worthwhile night out.

Quote to remember

I would prefer, because of coaching, to do it (tech training) during the school day. So we'll take some time off to do it. If nothing else I will flat-out cancel a day of school.

~From my superintendent during a meeting regarding training teachers on how to maintain the school website

If you were here...

I'd invite you over for dinner. I'm starting Monday night pizza this year. Monday's are hard, so having the social activity then seems important. And I'm excited that we have better community among teachers in my program and my town this year. I mean, the third years are already more familar to the first years than they were to me last year. (I realize this paragraph is grammatically awkward in ways that would be clearer if I'd just use locations/acronyms/whatever. Too bad.)

I'd have you play in the rain with me. I've been back for 4 weeks and this was only the second precipitation I can remember. The first was a hail storm in the middle of the night.

I'd ask you for a hug. Just because it's already that wearing some days. Not sure where I'm finding my motivation. And that's problematic.

And then I'd bid you goodnight. Because it's nearly midnight and I have a full day of school tomorrow. Eeep.

My shirt is not yellow!

I just made a batch of mustard, so this is an accomplishment. I'd never made Nana's mustard before, my sister always helps out, but my taste so far seems right on target. (Even though for some reason I decided to use brown sugar instead of normal sugar.)

It's quick and easy, so I'm including the recipe for anyone adventurous enough to try it. It has a bit of a kick, so not recommended if you don't like a bit of spice.

Nana's Sweet-Sour Mustard

Mix: 1/4 c. ground mustard
1/4 c. sugar
2 Tbsp. flour
Dash of salt

Heat to boiling (I just microwaved it): About 1/3 c. brown vinegar

Stir in enough vinegar into dry ingredients to right consistency.

Add: 1/2 tsp. ground turmeric

Let season one day to develop flavor.

Note: Turmeric is a strong yellow dye, so be careful about getting it on your clothes.

Early morning smile

Indexed is having a great week to describe my life. (At least two days in a row dead-on.)

Currently appreciating "You don't need to be paid to hold the job title."

Inappropriate

A few things that I want to share publicly, but not....

If you expect students to attend your school, have a schedule made for them even if they don't have all the paperwork in.

If a teacher is in class, don't interrupt unless you really need to.

And do not interrupt to ask if it's possible to put another person in their trailer.

Especially not if there are other units not being used.

And don't respond with, "Your reluctance is noted," and then immediately ask the same teacher's current housemate.

It's just not appropriate.

Thank you.

School's starting back up tomorrow.

I'm a ball of nerves.

Which probably means I'll be posting here again.

For now, eep.

I think that going straight from college to teaching high schoolers really did force me to become an all out grown-up quickly. I'm almost always conscious of how I present myself when I'm outside my trailer. In a community this small, I'm concerned about keeping up impressions.

I don't think I realized how much that had changed me until this roadtrip summer. When I'm really relaxing. When I'm laughing with friends. When I'm meeting strangers. When I'm recruiting seniors to blow bubbles at professors. When I'm dancing to the music that's being played because how can you hear this and not get on your feet. There's something that gets turned off too much in my new life. I need to take note and find a way to bring it back.

Update from the road, stop #1

It has been a great trip so far. It's amazing how much more I relax when I know that I don't have to lesson plan for another month and don't really need to for two months. I won't have anything to grade for a few weeks more....

Taking the longer time visit friends is lovely too. It's short enough that we still need to be intentional about spend time together, but long enough that we don't need to have deep conversation or doing something crazy every minute. You get back to that point of comfort where you can be with each other and not worry about ignoring each other.

So to all the people I've been with this week, thank you. To those of you who I will visit soon, I'm so excited! Yippee!

T-? Counting down the hours until leaving

Okay. Kinda sorta packed. Still need to wash some dishes. Clean the bathroom. And accept the fact that my room will be a mess while I'm gone.

Made it through my end-of-year discussion with the organization that brought me here. (Notable that I was NEVER evaluated by my school.) Cleaned out the fridge and took food over to a friend who's staying the summer (and has a family to help eat). Straightened out books and papers in the living room/FEMA trailer lesson planning central. Poked around online for way more time than I should.....Ooops?

See many of you soon! *hugs* to the rest.

Continuing a tradition of overgrown comments

(This started out as a comment on Allison's LJ. Which was a post that had started out as a comment on someone else's LJ. Which this entry is not very related to. But still, I claim that I'm just continuing the tradition.)

Back when I still had birthday parties, so in elementary/middle school, I always got journals for presents and never really knew what to do with them. Because back then I never wrote much. There's the diary from 5th grade somewhere with a few pages, including my first bra shopping expierence. (Only remember it because I had friends over and they read my diary and then there was some sort of strap popping expierence....Oh middle school...) There's another one with ideas for stories, from back when I was going to grow up to be Madeline L'Engle.

I think my current journal really dates back to 8th grade. While I lived with my parents I was more of the irregular writer. Lots of the angsty stuff. But what surprised me was how much I started writing in my journal when I left home. I went from filling out a journal in 4.5 years, to two journals every three years.

Not to say I don't have my spurts, but it really is my place to debrief my day. All the stuff that I used to talk through with mom and dad. I write at bedtime, so there are many posts along the lines of, "So tired. Just want sleep."

I totally go back and read stuff at times, less so now than I used to. But I think the reason I write is less to have the memories and more to get stuff out. Days when I'm already calm, I'm less likely to write, even though there may be some great stories. Still, it's not my therapy, as much as it fills my routine.

It's been almost a year since I started the blog here. I'm less sure now what my purpose here is. I think this one is more for the stories. More for the stuff I don't want to forget. The fact that it keeps anyone else updated on my life is secondary. (As evidenced by the fact that I didn't tell people about this one for ages. And that I'm still keeping news of it pretty quiet.)

Huh, it's gotten late. Ironically, I sat down with the purpose of writing down a post for my other blog, but haven't. Think I'll go to bed and write in my journal instead.

I love summer

Nice weather.

No lessons to plan.

Time to cook. And eat. And yum!

It took me two evenings (the crust is complicated creature that needs to cool and then be baked), but the strawberry lemon curd tart is delish. I just had my first nibble. It still hasn't cooled all the way. But I think it might be worth trying variations of in the future. Blueberry lemon curd tart perhaps? Or individual sized as is? Whatever. So good.

Cracked up to B (or any other passing grade)

Calling home to nag students who haven't taken the final and it will make a difference for is not the easy good thing I'd hoped.

Didn't realize B was suspended. Didn't have anything to go on. Just mom's word. So made plans to have her take it afterschool tomorrow. Grades due Wednesday, no problem.

Then announcements come. Grades due at 4:00 tomorrow.

She was taking the test at 4.

Run around. Run around. Run around.

Think things are "sorted" now, but I'm not sure if it will make a difference.

Just say no

I'm doing my best to remain ignorant to the concept that one of my students is pregnant. She's one of my favorites really, but I haven't spent that much time with her this year. She's smart, she doesn't need me to explain the material to her. And I haven't figured out my role as an adult figure in the lives of these students yet.

In a way I'm not surprised. And really, I don't know yet. But it's getting harder to ignore the weight gain. Harder to miss the signs of hiding herself in her jacket or under her hoodie.

I did a remarkable job of ignoring the teen sex in high school. I didn't know people who got pregnant in college. I feel safe saying that the majority of friends reading this blog aren't having sex. No pregnancy. No.

Can I start handing out condoms? Do word problems about STDs? Fertility rates? Family size? Something? I don't really know what the sex ed is here, but I want more.

not really a post

Nothing to say really. Just wanted to let you know I haven't disappeared. Eight more school days until I get to though.

First final exam tomorrow. (Instead of Friday like I'd originally planned.) Cross your fingers that they do well.

The snow is blowing sideways

I'm just saying.

It's late April, after all. You know?

Not so healthy dinner

But I'm sure there are less healthy dinners than strawberry shortcake. It has fruit, breads, and dairy after all.

Mmmhmmm. Note, this shortcake should be served cut it into slices like a pie, cut each slice into a top and bottom half, and serve with half-and-half and strawberries. I found out this weekend that whipped cream is not an acceptable substitute. It's a drier cake, so it soaks up the half-and-half and is just goodness.

(I'm not sure where the recipe came from. My parents?)

Strawberry Shortcake

Preheat oven to 450º.
Grease 9” round cake pan.
Cream together:
1/4 c. sugar
1/2 c. shortening
Add and beat in:
1 beaten egg
Combine in bowl:
1 3/4 c. flour
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
Add dry ingredients to first mixture. Stir in with fork.
Add:
1/3 c. milk
Stir until thoroughly mixed. (Do not overbeat.)
Pat dough evenly into prepared cake pan.
Bake at 450º for 12-15 min. or until golden on top.

There's never enough time

Feeling kinda on edge. So I'm going to bed. Ignoring grading. Hoping that I somehow get through the planning this week. *Sigh*Rawr*Bah*

Don't like changes

I stopped by my assistant principal's office this morning to talk about when I should schedule my final. (Given that I don't expect students to be around that last week of school....)

Found out that he's not going to be here next year. Supposed to keep it quiet, but he's turned in his resignation letter today.

He's made this year bearable. Students love him. Not that he's perfect, but that he's been AMAZING to work with this year. I'm gonna miss him....

I'm not from Rome

I love the This I Believe essay entitled "Always Go to the Funeral." It's something I connected with. When people are mourning you do what you can to show support. Whenever someone's having a hard time, you do what you can.

And so, I ended up at a wake for a student's grandmother this evening. (The funeral's during school tomorrow, so I'll miss it.) I'm decent at funerals, but visitations....I went to the one for my great-grandfather. I don't think I've been to any others. It's not a tradition I'm familar with in my own culture. Trying to learn what to do in a different culture makes it all the more confusing. I ask for guidance from people I work with. They tell me that I'll learn. But still, I feel like it can be such an awkward blending of cultures. Being the outsider from the encroaching culture brings home the feeling that I'm not "from Rome." I'm just copying the Romans the best I can, asking what we're doing so I can learn the motions for myself.

Returns are hard

The surprise break was great. Even though I didn't get out of town, just having time away from school was good.

But coming back is hard after any weekend. And the longer the break, the harder the return. I was great over the weekend, but this morning homesickness has hit. Hopefully, I'll get excited in the half hour before students come in for class.

Yummy

Recently discovered Tastespotting. New favorite food inspiration. Pretty pictures, often linked to recipes. And many are quick and use basic ingredients. Since I discovered the site last Thursday, I've made at least four recipes: Broccoli Pasta, Saj Borek, Lemon Custard, Peanut butter cups

Didn't even go grocery shopping. At least not for anything specific. (I do have a well-stocked kitchen....)

Note to libraries

I don't have anything to say on my other blog today, but wanted to write something somewhere...

When my family visited, I was able to visit the library in the town where they stayed. (It's always closed when I go to town otherwise.) Coolest idea that needs to be adapted. They have a collection of cakepans you can check out.

Because you know you want to make a R2D2 cake, but you don't want to spend the money to buy the special pan.

still snowing?

During the day it was clear blue skies. Sunny. Grass beginning to show some hints of green (at least in the sections where it was laid down last fall). It was cool, but I was still wishing I could be outside.

Bell rings. I go home, excited to be able to get out for a walk. Before I make it home it started snowing.

That was six hours ago. It's still snowing.

Boo. Don't they know it's April?

working harder than 9 to 5

I'm not sure I want to go back to real work.

Lesson planning takes up so much time. Prepping for school eats up my life.

Last week we had testing. I had free time. I got to school 15-30 minutes later (between 7:50 and 8:05). I left earlier. (Except for family night.) I didn't plan forever after I got back. Instead I went for walks. Cooked good food. Talked to friends. Read books. (The fact that I've had three short weeks in a row now is also contributing here.)

It's been lovely catching up with people. Honestly, falling out of touch like we have can make me sad. Even though it is because we're busy with other adventures. Icky schedules not meshing. Time zones. Work hours. Spotty service. Traveling. Visitors. You know...that stuff.

Okay.

Six and half more weeks. And then I get to go wander.

Breathe out

The mother I was fearing didn't show up at family night.

See, I'm failing her daughter. By that I mean both that her daughter's grade in my class is a solid "F" and that there is something that I am not doing as a teacher. At least she's not learning.

I was all prepared, had the grade reports for everyone printed out so that I could show you point by point what assignments were contributing to your grade. But before we got to that we'd review your attendance. Because, with 13 absences and another dozen or so tardies since January, well, do you think you should be passing? But mom's been angry as the grade has dropped from a C to a D to a D- to a high F. I was dreading her.

Instead I got to talk with the families of four of my favorite students. Many who want to know what they can do to bring their grade up more. (Well, at least if 50% is many.) Parent night was actually kind of fun. Wow.

A head's up. I may not be blogging as much here in the next few weeks. I agreed to post on a blog for a class at my college and am trying to get my other blog updated some more. The class blog is locked (at my request, and maybe the request of some other alumni) but if you actually know me and want the address to the teacher blog, comment to give me a head's up or just send me an e-mail.

Still hate goodbyes

Family visited this weekend. My sister hadn't seen where I live yet, and my parents hadn't been here since I actually started teaching. I'm more settled than I was. More comfortable with where I am. Less stressed-out by what I'm doing. Not that I'm excellent by any means, but that I'm doing a whole lot better. That's reassuring to remember.

On Saturday, we visited one of the "local" tourist destinations. After driving two-and-a-half hours to get there (and drive around some more), I think mom and dad realize why I'm getting used to driving by myself everywhere. The 45-minute drive to their hotel didn't hurt either. I don't think I realize how much I've changed here, but adjusting to distance is still something that I'm working on.

Good Friday

I'm getting ready to head out to be adopted for Easter. Leaving the computer here (it comes with too much work attached). I'm not sure my cell phone will work. So to everyone, I hope you have an Easter filled with the meaning and blessings of the holy day.

Sweet Tooth

Yesterday my sweet tooth was wanting attention. I didn't quite want cookies. Didn't have time to make a cake. Missed ingredients to make a pie.

But I looked through some cookbooks and found a recipe for lemon squares. It sounded perfect, and it more or less was.

It should be noted that I love lemon bars, but I don't like the ones that are more crust than lemon. This one was amazing. Somehow the crust ended up on top. I need to repeat it to get a better sense of how it works. That shouldn't be too hard, I just finished the last piece and already want more.

It should also be noted that this is from a cookbook put out by the library of a small, southern town. (Other treasures in it include grits casserole, liver nips, fried chitterlings, at least three fried chickens, General Lee Bread, biscuits, biscuits, and more biscuits, and--my favorite drink name--"hop, skip, and go naked.")

I didn't have lemons on hand, so just used juice from a bottle. Didn't have an 8 x 8 pan, so I just used a pie plate. (Decided there was enough butter in the crust that I didn't need to grease it.)

Here's the adapted recipe.

Lemon Shapes

6 Tbs butter
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup and 2 Tbs flour
2 eggs
2 generous Tbs lemon juice
1/4 tsp. baking powder

Preheat oven to 350.

Use electric mixer to beat butter for 30 seconds. Add 1/4 cup sugar and 1/4 cup flour. (Beat with mixer and then use fork to finish mixing.) Pat dough onto bottom of pie plate. Bake in oven for 15 minutes.

While baking, beat eggs. Add 3/4 cup sugar, 2 Tbs flour, lemon juice (original called for 2 Tbs, I like lemon, so I used ~2.5 Tbs), and baking powder. Beat for 3 minutes (yay electric mixer) or until slightly thickened. Pour over baked crust. Bake in oven (still at 350) for 25-30 minutes. Until the edges are a golden brown and the center is set.

The hard part is letting it cool. But really, it's too gooey right out of the oven to eat without a spoon.

Cut into whatever shapes you're going for and serve.

Inhale

Break was lovely. (Isn't it always? At least this year?) Getting out of town. Spending time with an amazing friend. Being spoiled by her mother. (Listed because that's the order of how things happened.) Thank you, lovely.

And now three and a half days of school. Easter. More school. Family visit. And then a lot more school before the year's over. By lot, I mean that I'll have ~8 weeks after my family leaves.

Then my road trip home. If you want to be visited en route, let me know. I'm actually beginning to think about plans. Oooh.

I'm not sure I should be this excited over a countdown

24 hours from now I will be elsewhere.

I'm not sure where I'll spend the night tomorrow, one hotel or another en route. But by this point tomorrow I will be on the road. Probably watching tv. Or eating out (and not at McDonald's because it's the only place open). Or at the mall (or some other consumeristic place).

I'm psyched. Too many recent weekends in town. It's time to get away.

I'll have to do some grading over the break. And planning, as always. But yay break! (And it only makes me look forward to summer more.)

Stircrazy

I've been in town the past three weekends. Really, I haven't been farther than the grocery store (which, granted, is 45 minutes away) since President's Day. And I'm getting restless. I did my lesson planning this morning so I'd have the afternoon off, but then didn't know what to do. I ended up driving to the town with the grocery store, even though most everything is closed on Sunday afternoon.

Three days of school and then I get two days off for spring break. You can bet that I'll be on the road Wednesday evening. I'm visiting a friend a couple of states over. It's about an eight hour drive, so I won't make it there after putting in a day at school. But the cost of the hotel room is totally worth getting away.

I miss being able to window shop in the boutiquey stores. Miss coffeeshops (that I never went in). Miss libraries (that were open when I wanted to use them). And so much more.

Three more months and I'll be through my first year. I'll be back next year. But wherever I end up after this will be more urban. (Though I'm honestly not sure that I could get much more rural in the continental states. It would take some effort. Going more urban, well, if grad school's my next step that's enough.)

I've been too out of it to do much more than sleep and look at old videos posted on friends blogs. My voice is kinda like this today.




Only I don't think I'm as cute as anyone in the video.

I woke up from a nap two hours ago. Time to go to sleep for the night.

A day of doing not much somehow equals a long post

Real food is important at any time. I haven't read much on the subject--but it seems like a mindset I was raised with. I do how Michael Pollan sums it up in his manifesto:

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

That, more or less, is the short answer to the supposedly incredibly complicated and confusing question of what we humans should eat in order to be maximally healthy.

...And you’re better off eating whole fresh foods rather than processed food products. That’s what I mean by the recommendation to “eat food,” which is not quite as simple as it sounds. For while it used to be that food was all you could eat, today there are thousands of other edible foodlike substances in the supermarket. These novel products of food science often come in packages elaborately festooned with health claims, which brings me to another, somewhat counterintuitive, piece of advice: If you’re concerned about your health, you should probably avoid products that make health claims. Why? Because a health claim on a food product is a strong indication it’s not really food, and food is what you want to eat.

You can see how quickly things can get complicated.

Being sick I want real food, but don't have much energy to prepare it. A couple of recipes that seemed easy enough to prepare, despite not seeming to be out of bed for more than 2 hours at a time all day.


First, chicken. Mom's recipe for the crock pot. It turned out simply enough, despite my not having cooked a chicken any time recently. And now I'm prepared to make chicken soup in the crock pot tomorrow.

Roast Chicken

Thoroughly wash one 3-4 lb. roasting hen and pat dry.
(Patting dry ensures good browning.)

Sprinkle cavity generously with salt, pepper, and parsley.

Place in Crock Pot. Dot chicken breast with margarine.

Sprinkle with parsley, basil, tarragon, or rosemary.

Cover and cook on HI 1 hour, 15 min.; then LO 8–10 hours.
(Or to cook it faster leave it on high. I'm not sure how long it takes then. Maybe 3-5 hours?)

Second recipe is adapted from Mollie Katzen's Enchanted Broccoli Forest. Basically chop up the ingredients and throw them in the oven. The pan I used was a bit big for the amount I cooked, so a little bit of burning happened, but it was still good enough to make again.

Tsimmes

1 sweet potato, peeled and chopped into inch-size pieces (or so)
1 carrot, peeled and chopped
1 onion, peeled and chopped
1 apple, chopped (see what I mean about the chopping?)
Handful of dried apricots, chopped
Squirt of lemon juice
Pour in some orange juice
Add a little apple juice (the original recipe, about double what I made, called for 1 and 2/3 cups of juice)
1/2 tsp. salt
Sprinkle of cinnamon
Dash of ginger

Preheat oven to 350.

Mix ingredients together in bowl. Put in baking dish (apparently want it deeper rather than thinner layer). Cover (aluminum foil worked for me) and bake for a while. 1.5 to 2 hours? I went a bit over. Then again, I burned.

And it is now most definitely time for bed again.

ahem

"Mommy, what's too sick to go to school?"
"A fever over 100."
"Then I better not go to work tomorrow....."

I feel miserable. Thing is half of my classes went well today. Two were absolute nightmare. I can almost pinpoint when the flu hit me. I've already called in. (I was supposed to be observed tomorrow, that's going to be rescheduled.) Some classes really haven't been doing work recently and so I feel guilty, because seriously, they're not going to get it done tomorrow. But coughing. Aches. Exhaustion. Fever. Sore throat. It's pretty clear that the only place I'm going tomorrow is the doctor.

A comment I left on a friend's blog

She was talking about missing college but knowing that there's no way to go back.

Even if I moved back to the town and just hung around auditing classes all the time, so much of what made it wonderful is gone out into the world, dispersed. I am homesick and there is no home to go back to.

For my part, I don't even know what home I'm homesick for part of the time. Some of it is the friends who have left, but some of it is just the type of people who are at my college. And I think part of it is the actual place. Studying in the chapel, or certain spaces in the library, or wandering the trails around campus.

I was the same way with camp--which was my home pre-college--for a long time. Even after I stopped working there, I expected that I would need to visit annually for many years. But when I went back last summer I realized that, while camp will always be home, I don't need to visit anymore. I've moved on some (assisted in part by the changing nature of the place, but mostly the changing course of life). I half-hope that the adjustment away from college will be the same. That before too long I will go back and realize that I've moved on to another home.

Though I don't know where that home will be.

Straws that break the back

It's finally getting warm, which is great. I went on a hike yesterday. I love that it's not dark when I go to school in the morning. Sure it's supposed to snow again tomorrow, but really, it's nice.

Except.

The fridge has stopped working.

And the temperature outside means that the car is no longer an extra freezer.

And I don't want all my food frozen. Some I just want chilled.

The freezer is working, so hopefully it's an easily fixable if you know what you're doing thing. But I've already cleared out the ice that was blocking the vent from the freezer to the fridge. And readjusted controls. And the food's just rotting. Smells awful.

And it's not like there's a grocery store I can just run to on a daily basis for what I need. Really this needs to be fixed NOW.

I talked to maintenance this morning. Hopefully this won't take as long as the pipes. Hopefully the bill for it won't be passed back to us (like the price for heating the pipes). The problem with the school being your landlord is that there's no one who's really dedicated to fixing the problems in the same way.

Delayed post...

Today I went to the Post Office.

At least I tried to.

I left the trailer during the hour when the window was open. I wanted to say hi to whoever was working and check if there were updates on the funeral for the father of some students. On my walk over, I stopped to talk to the security guard. We chatted. No updates on the funeral that he'd heard. He loaned me a book. Eventually a friend called, giving me an out. "I need to go clean up before she arrives." By the time I got to the Post Office it was closed. Locked up for the weekend. I thought the front door stayed open until noon, must be 11:30. Alas.

I do love that the weather was nice enough for me to stand outside talking for an hour. Spring is coming!

Someone should write a song about lesson planning

Tomorrow needs to be a practice day. Drills. They're boring, I know. But we haven't gotten far enough in this section for me to come up with a good game. I have a worksheet, but I'm not sure how it will work out. Just couldn't find the motivation to be interesting. Alas.

Casting a shadow

To fill up an extra ten minutes in class on Tuesday I talked about the eclipse. I got super-excited running around trying to model the effect of what happens, looking up pictures online. It filled up the time and at least one student asked, "So when is this happening?" It made me feel like maybe I'd somehow done something (even if not directly related to my class) to spark an interest.

The eclipse tonight wasn't all that exciting. At least not to the degree that I was running around the classroom.

Eclipses, at least lunar eclipses, are one of those ideas that are fun to learn about. They always sound so cool. But really it's just the way things line up. Though watching your shadow grow longer can be pretty fun too (just on warmer days).

I want things to work out as well in real-life as they do in theory. Like planning ahead. Teaching with models. Keeping up with e-mails. Cooking leftovers on weekends so I don't eat out of a box during the week. Getting more sleep.

And with that will follow directions and go to bed.


P.S. Wow, for the place where I'm trying to be positive, I feel like this has had a negative twist recently. There are good things going on. Four of my classes really got what was going on today. (Granted, in two of them I was only working with one student.) Some of the students who I struggled with the most in the fall have really been on the ball recently. I'm amazed at how much attitudes have improved. I'm hopeful that some days the material actually sinks in. Wish I was better at giving the applications that were fun, but that's something to work on for next year.

hugs to all

I talked with my aide about what our students are going through. (FYI, Things are still awkward with her. I'm not sure how much I trust her given our history.) During the conversation I made the comment that growing up is hard. Leaving what you know is scary.

Days vary between good and bad, about normal really. But the obsessive thinking about things has made me a bit college sick. (Not that I haven't been all year.) I know it's supposed to take a while to adjust to life after college. I know this is normal. Knowing it doesn't make it any easier.

I shouldn't overanalyze friendships...

The ski trip this weekend was great. I can tell that my ability is on an exponential curve. (Well actually, the graph is probably more logarithmic....but people don't use that terminology colloquially and I'm at the beginning where you improve by leaps and bounds.) I'm sure being on the slopes three days in one week helped.

The highlight was spending time with some of the other people in my organization. I don't hang out with them much. This weekend, I was reminded that the reason for that is because I don't like hanging out in large groups. I really like the people and they like me. (I was told as much several times.) The reminder that there are people here who I want to know better is reassuring.

In another sector of life, I found out from my sister that my college is canceling its orientation trip program. The basic reason given is that not all of the incoming students who wanted to go on the trip were able to (this year 40 students were waitlisted). That the students who go on the trips have friends before the mandatory for all orientation and the students who don't go on trips feel left out.

If you knew me in college, you can imagine that my reaction is visceral. If you didn't know me then, suffice to say that I went on the service trip for four years. Two of my best friends were in my room (of four) my freshman year. I feel like at least half of my friendships were influenced by the trip, whether or not people went on it. (For example, I think of one friend on the trip who then hung out on my freshman floor. And her roommate who came with her. And the way that then her roommate ended up living with people from my freshman floor. I don't know if that group of friends would exist if not for the trip. See what I mean about how I shouldn't overanalyze friendships?)

My mom observed that one of the things I'm dealing with this year is how community is formed. I don't think my organization does a good job of formally building community. There are second-years who I still don't really know. So the idea of my college getting rid of something that works (and that really worked for me) is infuriating.

I think for me there's also a sense of this is a frustration that I can direct, can do something about. There's so much in systems here that I can't influence, I want to exploit the system that I can.

I've written my "strongly worded letter" to be sent to appropriate Deans and campus life coordinators. (It does need to be revised before I send it. For some reason I suspect I should cut lines like, "Canceling the trips is STUPID. DUMB. And a little bit crazy."

If you went to college with me and have the time, I'd love for you to work the system too. Whether you went on a trip or not (maybe especially if you didn't), consider writing a letter of your own. If you need information (newspaper articles or senate minutes), feel free to e-mail me. Even though we won't be going on these trips again, it's one of the traditions that I think should be passed on to future students at out school.

That is all. For now. Maybe.

winding down, don't feel obligated to read

I skipped out on a Valentine's party tonight in favor of some down time alone before going skiing with people this weekend. Then I realized that there was a home game, so I decided to go watch.

Glad I did. It was the girls' last home game of the season. At the end of the first quarter, I commented that while we were behind, we had more than half of the other team's score (based on the other games I'd been too, this was notable). Halftime, a visitor pointed out that we might have a shot at winning, only 10 points behind. For a while we were ahead by 10 points, but with three minutes left in the game the other team scored six points in something like 11 seconds. (I'm not sure how it happened.) Tied. One team would lead. Another would. We won by a free throw with 0.1 seconds left.

I'm up later than I'd planned, so I won't hit the road as early as I'd planned. But the get-away will be all the more fun because I'm leaving town on a high note.

Traditions distrupted

Sorry I didn't send you a Valentine card.

I'm never good at making them well in advance, but I have making them the night before. Only in previous years I've been able to deliver the cards the next day. Just doesn't work in the middle of nowhere. And, even though I had the past days off, I didn't exactly lesson plan. So last night instead of making Valentines I worked on lesson plans. Bah growing up.

And Happy Valentine's Day by the way.

Home, sweet home

Oh FEMA, why must you poison your trailers? As far as trailers go, this one is pretty nice. Except for the frozen pipes and that the CDC says people in other, similar trailers should get out.

At least I don't have any symptoms. (Though I'm linking for my own reference when the weather gets warmer.)

Grades

I've been a slacker in entering grades into our online system. Or to entering some of them in my gradebook. Catching up on it now.

Luckily the grades I haven't checked are mindless participation sheets instead of tests or other work that needs to be graded for accuracy. Still, a recent PhD comic made me smile in sympathy.


Only, I think my timeline is condensed. Change the hours to 10 minutes, undergrads to high schoolers, and I think you've got it.

But no matter, there is one thing you should know

I went to a close-out sale at Borders this weekend. Picked up the latest Sweet Honey in the Rock cd. It was perfect for my drive back. Especially the track "Indaba: We Believe In You." I can't find the lyrics online, and I'm too lazy to type them up. You can stream it from the website or just take a guess based on the title.

A large part of this weekend was just needing to hear the messages of affirmation. From the, "We're rooting for you," and "We're proud of you," to the, "This letter is junk, let's burn it!" Hearing this cd on the drive back continued in that theme.

There are definitely people here who help build me up, but there's something about hearing the messages from people who have known me longer. Being able to get actual hugs. Being able to take the time to talk about things and to not talk about things.

I'm doing better having faced today. We'll see what tomorrow has in store.

*Cough*

I'm calling in sick on Friday.

A mental health day is in order. I took a mid-year survey for the organization that placed me here. On it there were some questions along the lines of, "I know where I can go to get mental help if I need it," and, "I would seek mental help if I needed it." I checked disagree. Sure, at orientation they handed us a sheet listing psychologists, but none of them are really near us. I don't have the time to drive to find someone hours away.

After feeling personally attacked for the past week, my prescription for myself is to spend time with people who know me well and who will build me up. There are people here encouraging me, but we just lack the shared history for them to get me where I need to be.

as requested

One of you wanted pictures of my classroom. Actually, I think there have been multiple requests, but there was finally one that convinced me to take pictures. (That and I finally have enough decorations to not feel like a slacker.)
From the back looking forward. The construction paper on top is a number line that I have a student working on building. Just because the reference helps.


And from the front looking at the back. The computers look nicer in this picture than they actually are. Don't be fooled. My classroom, so low-tech it's depressing.

Still frozen...

The hot water's out. Again. They've had the heat machine going at it for two hours and it still hasn't broken. Sewer line's not fixed yet either. I'm going over to another teacher trailer for a shower.

The maintenance set-up has gotten progressively more elaborate over the past EIGHT days. These pictures are from last Thursday. Since then we have more of a road block. It's kind of impressive. Except I'm not sure that it's getting anything done.

Bah.



Hopefully the view from my window will soon be happier than this.

Follow up from the whine

I know it's not professional to have breakdowns at work. I tried to limit it today.

My department chair (that other teacher in my department) and my assistant principal are amazing.

Amen.

Still, no matter how much my mind knows that it's not me, no matter how ridiculous the points are to people who know me, no matter how many times I'm told not to take something personally, I can't convince my gut. (Mom's words there.) The take-away lesson: I could never be a politician. Negative campaign ads would make me doubt myself. And then I live down to expectations.

Sometimes the journey is the expierence

I'm not confident when I started watching the State of the Union address. Sometime in high school. I'm confident that I watched it every year in college, and have some pretty fond memories of those experiences. (How nerdy is that? Warning, half of you who read this are included in those memories.)

I don't remember being aware that the address was coming up, but last night I thought about it as I went to sleep, making a note that I needed to find out when it was (didn't think I'd missed it yet) and find a way to watch it. Woke up this morning to the announcement that it was tonight and then nearly forgot by the time it came on.

Thankfully, I was procrastinating by looking at the news and had 10 minutes to find places to watch it.

Tried CNN first, but the audio kept skipping out. So then I started steaming audio from NPR, but it was out of sync with my video. Switched to the video from the White House. It's more in sync with the audio (the audio with has too much background noise). The video's amusing though. Keeps malfunctioning somehow. See below for an example of what I mean. (Edit: blogger's having difficulty posting images, check back later.)

I'm distracted enough by the process of trying to get this together that I'm not really paying attention to the speech. I miss having running commentary with other people in the room. I'm home alone tonight, and not anticipating more phone calls, so it's not like I'll even discuss this tonight. And I don't know enough to feel like I could discuss if you called. (Though I'm paying more attention as I write this. And I'm being reminded of different friends I listen. To the friend who's vocal against wiretapping, I think you just lost any hope.....)

Hmmm...this is a great way to keep procrastinating, but I should grade tests. Bush should be nearly done......And then there's the response....

Edit: He finished one minute after I hit publish post.

Cheese please. (To go with my whine.)

There are times when I feel like the school's picking on me. Many times. Far too often. I want to say, "You're a jerk. And I'm not as bad as you make me out to be." But have to respond more diplomatically.
There's the feeling of, "If you don't like me this much, if I'm this evil or whatever, just go ahead and fire me. It'd be a relief for me not to have to worry about this more. Screw yourselves over--the other teacher in my department won't last long without me here. But stop messing with me."

I try to limit the feeling. But there are times. And today is one of those times.

I try to remember that it's the students who are the real victims in this mess.

Try to hold on the the belief that people take their insecurities out on me because my demographics (first year teacher from the outside) make me vulnerable.

Try not to pass my insecurities on to the students.

Try to persevere.

The trick is caught between the determination not to quit with the hope of enough of an excuse for an out.

Duly Inspired

I feel like I should have learned about TED before. Talks about Technology, Entertainment, and Design. Great stories, talks. Short and intense. I just watched my first video and think I may have found some sort of substitute for the talks I miss from college. (Because, let's face it, my current location had plenty of cultural experiences, but it's not the high culture and certainly not the intellectually challenging fun that I was devoted to in college.)

I totally subscribed to the podcast of this. (And yes, I know some of the talks from college are available online, but most of them are amazing because you're there and the way I shared them with the people around me. Think of lunch. Think of the notebook. You know what I mean. Not the same watching a video.)

I actually had heard of TED earlier this school year via one blog or another. But I just went to the website and was overwhelmed by the selection, couldn't really figure out what it was. If you need a place to start and you like inspirational stories, watch Bill Strickland's talk. It's the one I started with. (The only one I've finished watching so far....) It gives me hope about what school can be, even in situations like the one here. Inspiration indeed.

home alone?

I've enjoyed the company the past several weekends. Getting out skiing. Friends visiting. Visiting friends and the rest of Christmas break. Getting the break from school by being social is great. It helps me put aside the stress of being a teacher in this insane situation.

This weekend I have the trailer to myself. I went grocery shopping on Friday and have holed up since. Really didn't do much yesterday--read in bed, cooked, talked on the phone.

I know people have been moving to this area for ages. But I can't imagine coming here without modern communication technology. Forget the 1800's, I'm not sure how I would do moving here in the early 1990's. I guess I don't use my landline much, but my cell phone gets hours and hours of use. E-mail and blogs keep me sane.  This morning I used Skype for the first time to talk to a friend in Tokyo. We hadn't talked since graduation and it was amazing to catch up. So even though I've been by myself this weekend I feel like I've been super-social.

Today, I have to forget my lazy ways. Need to lesson plan for the coming week. Having the four preps is insane. It'll be interesting to see how I manage to keep up with the year. Balancing the keeping ahead with work and the keeping sane by taking breaks (both "by myself" and with people).

I really prefer living in a first world country

Setting: the FEMA trailer ~15 minutes ago, Self closes door and IMs the following to housemate (still working at school)

so the maintenance guys stopped by before they left

just now

saying to do whatever that needs water in the next hour

it'll spill out, but he expects it to freeze again tonight

tomorrow they're going to go digging

and then may end up replacing the line

and who knows what

which is all to say, i'm going to take a quick shower now.

and if you want one in our house you should come home soon to get it.

yay

end scene


In my shower, I realized how spoiled I am to take running water (and draining water) for granted. Necessity. Freak out when I don't have it.


That's great. Can we please have the water working for real tomorrow?

If the year is a marathon, why do I feel like I'm sprinting?

They added another subject to my class load starting last week. I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed by it all. So posts here not happening so much.

Back to lesson planning right now. Hopefully I'll update more sometime soon.

Distractions from the past are amazing

Today was a rough day with admin at at school. (Which I'm not going to explain now. Really I should be lesson planning.) But when I came home, one of my professors from last year had e-mailed me asking if this one talk being given is using the same data set as my senior thesis.

It is.

So now, I'm looking up more stuff that's come out recently using my dataset and really missing the thesis and kind of wishing I was going to grad school next year, even though I don't know where I should go nor exactly I want to study.

Missing that thesis needed to be shared with someone. I couldn't decide who, so now it's all of you faithful readers.

I fly back tomorrow, though won't go back to school until Monday. I'll be visiting college (again) in the meantime. I haven't gotten as much work done as I'd envisioned, but I think that's because I didn't account for travel in my vision. The reality is that half of my break is being used to travel.

New computer is fun. Shiny. Though again, getting adjusted to it is taking time. Figuring out what all programs I want on it. How they run. When I'll use what. Where all the old files are (because I'm hoping to use different accounts so I keep my different lives separate to some degree).

Apologies to everyone who I'm supposed to contact and haven't. No excuses per se, just the sense of fleeting time.