Even if I moved back to the town and just hung around auditing classes all the time, so much of what made it wonderful is gone out into the world, dispersed. I am homesick and there is no home to go back to.For my part, I don't even know what home I'm homesick for part of the time. Some of it is the friends who have left, but some of it is just the type of people who are at my college. And I think part of it is the actual place. Studying in the chapel, or certain spaces in the library, or wandering the trails around campus.
I was the same way with camp--which was my home pre-college--for a long time. Even after I stopped working there, I expected that I would need to visit annually for many years. But when I went back last summer I realized that, while camp will always be home, I don't need to visit anymore. I've moved on some (assisted in part by the changing nature of the place, but mostly the changing course of life). I half-hope that the adjustment away from college will be the same. That before too long I will go back and realize that I've moved on to another home.
Though I don't know where that home will be.
1 comment:
i really loved this post. i know what you are feeling...and i hope that we've all moved on in some way, even though it's sad to think about it.
thanks for the link to ted! i read about it earlier with one of your posts. will definitely check it out. hugs.
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