Lest I remember my success and forget my frustrations

The last time I went sailing ended with tears.

We'd meant to go the day before, but a late bus threw off the rhythm of the day and we opted for lazy reading instead. But the morning was beautiful, so we skipped church and headed to the water.

I'd never rigged the boat without my usual partner before. It was so much slower without her splitting the tasks. But I'm not at the point of being able to tell others what to do. So with List Guy stood around feeling useless I pulled sheets, threaded sails, and tied knots.

We finally got out to the water. Hoorah. But getting into the boat with someone who doesn't know how to do things, also, harder. We were deep enough that I had trouble jumping in. He couldn't steer the boat in the meantime and it kept moving.

I finally got in. And we got stuck in the sandbar.

I got rescued by the staff. At least it was my favorite guy there. Embarrassed I followed his directions to start again.

And again, I couldn't get into the boat.

If we had the time, I would have worked it out. But I knew it would still be slow going when I got in. And there was an afternoon bus to get the Guy to. Bags to pick up on the way. Preferably eating some lunch too.

So I called it. Tears of giving up when I knew I could get it, should have done it already. Disappointment in myself. Still embarrassed by my mistakes. And maybe, still a bit sleep-funked from two nights before.

We went back to shore. Derigged the boat. He's promised it won't be our last time. The club near him is cheaper. He has friends who are members. We'll see.

August 9

Inspired by Allison to finally work on goal 13. Assignment between August 9 and September 19. We'll see how I continue after that.

Weekend Snapshots

The boyfriend I just met asked how I know his girlfriend. "We met on Twitter." Nope, didn't really know each other before that. Just it's a small group we interact with, so we eventually found each other.

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Sitting in the bar listening to bands play. Chatting with friends and people watching in aticipation. Knowing that once the music changed ever so slightly my crew would descend upon the dance floor. The other people wouldn't know what happened.

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Blueberry picking. And nibbling. And BLUEBERRIES.

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Driving home and playing which is sketchier: the strip club billboards or the fireworks billboards. Strip clubs almost always have exit numbers. The fireworks didn't. And they had fine print that I couldn't see while driving.

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Trying on heels that make me tall.

Not buying them.

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Watching more Being Erica than is probably good for me.

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Random assortment of friends for the Fourth. Spending the most one-on-one time with the one person I hadn't met before.

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New grill working! Deliciousness. Hamburgers. And tofu. And so many sausages. And veggieburgers. And portabellos. And red peppers.

And this salad.

And mint lemonade. And sweet tea. And Arnold Palmer.

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Never actually grilling the ribs.

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Sunset walk by the beach with two of my girlfriends while others tossed the Frisbee.

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Heading to the beach to see fireworks. South. North. And the illegal immediately local.

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Checking out a new dance venue. Staying from the first song through the last.

I think that going straight from college to teaching high schoolers really did force me to become an all out grown-up quickly. I'm almost always conscious of how I present myself when I'm outside my trailer. In a community this small, I'm concerned about keeping up impressions.

I don't think I realized how much that had changed me until this roadtrip summer. When I'm really relaxing. When I'm laughing with friends. When I'm meeting strangers. When I'm recruiting seniors to blow bubbles at professors. When I'm dancing to the music that's being played because how can you hear this and not get on your feet. There's something that gets turned off too much in my new life. I need to take note and find a way to bring it back.

Update from the road, stop #1

It has been a great trip so far. It's amazing how much more I relax when I know that I don't have to lesson plan for another month and don't really need to for two months. I won't have anything to grade for a few weeks more....

Taking the longer time visit friends is lovely too. It's short enough that we still need to be intentional about spend time together, but long enough that we don't need to have deep conversation or doing something crazy every minute. You get back to that point of comfort where you can be with each other and not worry about ignoring each other.

So to all the people I've been with this week, thank you. To those of you who I will visit soon, I'm so excited! Yippee!