If there's a non-awkward way to have your parents who live far away meet your mid-distance boyfriend, I didn't find it.
But everyone's in their respective homes again, so we're over that hurdle. Also, beyond the hurdle of first-significant-other-to-meet-the-parents (you're welcome, sissy.)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
The Spice Rack
"The reason to have a wedding is to get your spice rack."
So, I got her a spice rack.
~~~
The story's more complicated than I remembered, so a reference for myself.
~~~
Some years ago, a young woman entered grad school. Far away, her friends were getting married by the dozens (or maybe half-dozens or quarter-dozens, but even that feels like a lot of weddings). The moved into houses with cute lawns, a couple of bedrooms, and full kitchen complete with a spice rack. In short, they were settling into a grown-up life.
Meanwhile, our heroine was making do in the squalor of a graduate program. Crappy apartments. Rushed hours. No time for homemaking a place that couldn't feel like home. It was a fine life, a life that would lead to what she wanted to do. But it's not one that felt grown-up. Something was unfulfilled.
Enter the older man. A man that has the adult details worked out for himself. He invites her to join him and she does. A grown-up life.
Only it's not. We won't go into details, but it was a bad relationship. Finally she divorces him. Rebuilds life for herself from the ground up. She wonders what got her into the relationship in the first place. What was so attractive about him?
And she realizes. She wanted the life with the spice rack. She wanted the grown-up life. It wasn't the man that attracted her. It was the idea of marriage and a life fulfilled.
Since then she presents her gifts shortly upon the news of engagement. A spice rack. And a question, "Is this what you're wanting? Does this fulfill you? Cause if it does, let's reconsider this life you're looking at."
A reminder to think about what's motivating the marriage. And hey, a pretty good present besides.
~~~
She told me she was engaged. I responded I'd get her a spice rack. Great! Are there spices that I should gather for you in the city? Check out the Korean store. The fiancé served in Korea and misses the food. What spices does he need? Nobody seems to know. They requested an adventurous mix. I took advantage of an excuse to visit multiple ethnic groceries.
~~~
Before I left, though after the wedding certificate was signed, I had her open the spice rack. She read the names. Sometimes I was able to tell her what it was for. You use these to flavor sushi rice. Hing powder in Indian dishes. Fenugreek? That's good for breastmilk, her new aunt pipes up. She looks at me. Breastmilk? What are you getting me, woman?
I have no idea my friend. I have no idea.
So, I got her a spice rack.
~~~
The story's more complicated than I remembered, so a reference for myself.
~~~
Some years ago, a young woman entered grad school. Far away, her friends were getting married by the dozens (or maybe half-dozens or quarter-dozens, but even that feels like a lot of weddings). The moved into houses with cute lawns, a couple of bedrooms, and full kitchen complete with a spice rack. In short, they were settling into a grown-up life.
Meanwhile, our heroine was making do in the squalor of a graduate program. Crappy apartments. Rushed hours. No time for homemaking a place that couldn't feel like home. It was a fine life, a life that would lead to what she wanted to do. But it's not one that felt grown-up. Something was unfulfilled.
Enter the older man. A man that has the adult details worked out for himself. He invites her to join him and she does. A grown-up life.
Only it's not. We won't go into details, but it was a bad relationship. Finally she divorces him. Rebuilds life for herself from the ground up. She wonders what got her into the relationship in the first place. What was so attractive about him?
And she realizes. She wanted the life with the spice rack. She wanted the grown-up life. It wasn't the man that attracted her. It was the idea of marriage and a life fulfilled.
Since then she presents her gifts shortly upon the news of engagement. A spice rack. And a question, "Is this what you're wanting? Does this fulfill you? Cause if it does, let's reconsider this life you're looking at."
A reminder to think about what's motivating the marriage. And hey, a pretty good present besides.
~~~
She told me she was engaged. I responded I'd get her a spice rack. Great! Are there spices that I should gather for you in the city? Check out the Korean store. The fiancé served in Korea and misses the food. What spices does he need? Nobody seems to know. They requested an adventurous mix. I took advantage of an excuse to visit multiple ethnic groceries.
~~~
Before I left, though after the wedding certificate was signed, I had her open the spice rack. She read the names. Sometimes I was able to tell her what it was for. You use these to flavor sushi rice. Hing powder in Indian dishes. Fenugreek? That's good for breastmilk, her new aunt pipes up. She looks at me. Breastmilk? What are you getting me, woman?
I have no idea my friend. I have no idea.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Highlight of being sick while living alone
Registering that List Guy had said his half of the good night litany and hung up the phone. Realizing that I didn't have a clue how long I'd been asleep. Guess I'll find out when we compare how far he read with how much I remember.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Magenta paintbrush and lupine
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Text conversation to make me smile
me: hey, think tomorrow can end up working. pick me up at the train station at 2h15?
friend: sounds good! see you then!
me: yay! will want to do work for part of time, but can catch up too
friend: No worries, it will be good just to see you before I go!
me: exactly. one final in person taking advantage of the summer. cause who knows when we'll live even this close again. (is that sad to say? it doesn't feel it.)
friend: Hey. I'm expecting some good times together in the nursing home, ok?
me: that will make it easier for your 128-year-old self to attend my funeral :)
friend: that's right, it's all about efficiency!
friend: sounds good! see you then!
me: yay! will want to do work for part of time, but can catch up too
friend: No worries, it will be good just to see you before I go!
me: exactly. one final in person taking advantage of the summer. cause who knows when we'll live even this close again. (is that sad to say? it doesn't feel it.)
friend: Hey. I'm expecting some good times together in the nursing home, ok?
me: that will make it easier for your 128-year-old self to attend my funeral :)
friend: that's right, it's all about efficiency!
My phone's old fashioned.
If I want to archive conversations,
typing them up for here is the best choice.
Monday, August 27, 2012
The Honeymoon
They drove from Minnesota to Ohio. (From her family to his.) No pre-planned route. No itenerary. Just point the car in the approximate direction and stop when there's something interesting.
People go tubing at the Wisconsin Dells. Probably in truck tire tubes. Because cars' just aren't that big. They didn't go.
The bed in that one hotel SAGGED. Here you have to gesture a large U across your body. Otherwise you might not realize how depressed that bed was.
They took a ferry across Lake Michigan. The ferry was already loaded when they got there, so they got to drive straight on. Everyone else was driven on by the ferry staff.
The restaurant on board served lunch from 1 until 2. They got there right after it closed. So they made do with a couple of candy bars.
She got motion sick and lost hers.
Ooops.
But the steak at dinner that night, after they were on solid ground, was delicious.
People go tubing at the Wisconsin Dells. Probably in truck tire tubes. Because cars' just aren't that big. They didn't go.
The bed in that one hotel SAGGED. Here you have to gesture a large U across your body. Otherwise you might not realize how depressed that bed was.
They took a ferry across Lake Michigan. The ferry was already loaded when they got there, so they got to drive straight on. Everyone else was driven on by the ferry staff.
The restaurant on board served lunch from 1 until 2. They got there right after it closed. So they made do with a couple of candy bars.
She got motion sick and lost hers.
Ooops.
But the steak at dinner that night, after they were on solid ground, was delicious.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Tell me about Papa--the classic story
She was working at IBM. He was in ag chem.
Both on the third floor, separated by a wall.
They both took the back elevator down one day. It went to the parking lot. Why she was going that way is unclear--she didn't have a car.
(Did the Columbus have streetcars then? She doesn't think so. But Minneapolis did when she lived there. They'd take it across town from home to work. Leave a 7 in the morning to be there by 8. Often they were the first to break tracks in the night's snow. But I digress.)
He liked her suit and said so.
"Thank you, I made it myself."
~~~
I tell you, I come from good people.
Both on the third floor, separated by a wall.
They both took the back elevator down one day. It went to the parking lot. Why she was going that way is unclear--she didn't have a car.
(Did the Columbus have streetcars then? She doesn't think so. But Minneapolis did when she lived there. They'd take it across town from home to work. Leave a 7 in the morning to be there by 8. Often they were the first to break tracks in the night's snow. But I digress.)
He liked her suit and said so.
"Thank you, I made it myself."
~~~
I tell you, I come from good people.
Grandparents say the darndest things
I've had a great sufficiency and any more would be a flipsy-flopsy.~Nana quoting Papaw
After Gram died, he cooked for himself. Apparently he was always happy to fix steaks when he had company.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
I'm not sure if you know this, so I thought I'd tell you
Sea stars are real.
Nods head.
I'm still more of a mountain person than a beach person, but the highlight of our recent family vacation to Olympic National Park was tidepooling.
We weren't even there for the good tides. Because, you know, the tides vary with the moon. The highs are higher and the lows lower near a quarter moon. We were there for an almost flat tide. The park rangers don't even do the tidepool activities then.
But the rocky outcrops are a new experience for us. You don't see anemones on our sandy shores. And starfish. They're real.
Nods head.
I'm still more of a mountain person than a beach person, but the highlight of our recent family vacation to Olympic National Park was tidepooling.
We weren't even there for the good tides. Because, you know, the tides vary with the moon. The highs are higher and the lows lower near a quarter moon. We were there for an almost flat tide. The park rangers don't even do the tidepool activities then.
But the rocky outcrops are a new experience for us. You don't see anemones on our sandy shores. And starfish. They're real.
Lest I remember my success and forget my frustrations
The last time I went sailing ended with tears.
We'd meant to go the day before, but a late bus threw off the rhythm of the day and we opted for lazy reading instead. But the morning was beautiful, so we skipped church and headed to the water.
I'd never rigged the boat without my usual partner before. It was so much slower without her splitting the tasks. But I'm not at the point of being able to tell others what to do. So with List Guy stood around feeling useless I pulled sheets, threaded sails, and tied knots.
We finally got out to the water. Hoorah. But getting into the boat with someone who doesn't know how to do things, also, harder. We were deep enough that I had trouble jumping in. He couldn't steer the boat in the meantime and it kept moving.
I finally got in. And we got stuck in the sandbar.
I got rescued by the staff. At least it was my favorite guy there. Embarrassed I followed his directions to start again.
And again, I couldn't get into the boat.
If we had the time, I would have worked it out. But I knew it would still be slow going when I got in. And there was an afternoon bus to get the Guy to. Bags to pick up on the way. Preferably eating some lunch too.
So I called it. Tears of giving up when I knew I could get it, should have done it already. Disappointment in myself. Still embarrassed by my mistakes. And maybe, still a bit sleep-funked from two nights before.
We went back to shore. Derigged the boat. He's promised it won't be our last time. The club near him is cheaper. He has friends who are members. We'll see.
We'd meant to go the day before, but a late bus threw off the rhythm of the day and we opted for lazy reading instead. But the morning was beautiful, so we skipped church and headed to the water.
I'd never rigged the boat without my usual partner before. It was so much slower without her splitting the tasks. But I'm not at the point of being able to tell others what to do. So with List Guy stood around feeling useless I pulled sheets, threaded sails, and tied knots.
We finally got out to the water. Hoorah. But getting into the boat with someone who doesn't know how to do things, also, harder. We were deep enough that I had trouble jumping in. He couldn't steer the boat in the meantime and it kept moving.
I finally got in. And we got stuck in the sandbar.
I got rescued by the staff. At least it was my favorite guy there. Embarrassed I followed his directions to start again.
And again, I couldn't get into the boat.
If we had the time, I would have worked it out. But I knew it would still be slow going when I got in. And there was an afternoon bus to get the Guy to. Bags to pick up on the way. Preferably eating some lunch too.
So I called it. Tears of giving up when I knew I could get it, should have done it already. Disappointment in myself. Still embarrassed by my mistakes. And maybe, still a bit sleep-funked from two nights before.
We went back to shore. Derigged the boat. He's promised it won't be our last time. The club near him is cheaper. He has friends who are members. We'll see.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Moving Melancholy
There is no reason why this move should churn up emotions.
None.
I'm switching offices. We all are. It's an office switch-a-roo. I'm not saying goodbye to people.* I'm not changing job descriptions.** I'm not even having to carry all my books myself.***
And yet, sitting beside my boxes, sorting through the papers I printed for classes, deciding what to keep and what can be recycled, there it is.
Part sadness. Part nostalgia. Part anxiety about the future and what comes next. The wondering of how things will work in the new place.
It's ridiculous. Especially when compared to other people who are actually MOVING. Friends who are moving across country for grad school. Colleagues who just bought a house. My sister texted me WHILE I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THESE BOXES saying that she'd just left the house where she's spent the past year. For the last time. My switch has NOTHING on them.
But sometimes you have to embrace the ridiculous to get past it. Acknowledge that this comes from years of past moves, stress about not getting as much done as I feel like I should, and the reminder that relationships are changing all the time.
So I'm heading home early today. Stopping by early tomorrow so I can get to my plants before the movers do. And counting on the excitement of unpacking to be as refreshing as the current mood is draining.
*At least not people who I couldn't stop by and say hello to on pretty much any workday.
** Well, not any more than if I'd been in the same office anyway. And really, I'm glad to be at the point where I'm done taking classes.
*** Since it's the Grand Switch-a-roo they're getting movers. I am spoiled I tell you. Spoiled.
None.
I'm switching offices. We all are. It's an office switch-a-roo. I'm not saying goodbye to people.* I'm not changing job descriptions.** I'm not even having to carry all my books myself.***
And yet, sitting beside my boxes, sorting through the papers I printed for classes, deciding what to keep and what can be recycled, there it is.
Part sadness. Part nostalgia. Part anxiety about the future and what comes next. The wondering of how things will work in the new place.
It's ridiculous. Especially when compared to other people who are actually MOVING. Friends who are moving across country for grad school. Colleagues who just bought a house. My sister texted me WHILE I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THESE BOXES saying that she'd just left the house where she's spent the past year. For the last time. My switch has NOTHING on them.
But sometimes you have to embrace the ridiculous to get past it. Acknowledge that this comes from years of past moves, stress about not getting as much done as I feel like I should, and the reminder that relationships are changing all the time.
So I'm heading home early today. Stopping by early tomorrow so I can get to my plants before the movers do. And counting on the excitement of unpacking to be as refreshing as the current mood is draining.
*At least not people who I couldn't stop by and say hello to on pretty much any workday.
** Well, not any more than if I'd been in the same office anyway. And really, I'm glad to be at the point where I'm done taking classes.
*** Since it's the Grand Switch-a-roo they're getting movers. I am spoiled I tell you. Spoiled.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Second Opinions
"Are you keeping secrets from her?"
Middle schoolers are my favorite for giving a second opinions on your relationship. Or at least, they do a bang-up job of checking out your partner.
"Will you stay by her side?"
When I was back for graduation, my friend showed me a video of her middle school students interviewing her fiance. They bounce back and forth between "What are your intentions?" and "What is her favorite color?" Both important questions when you think about it.
"Will you buy her anything she wants?"
So when I realized List Guy was going to meet one of my best friends while she had two middle schoolers living with her, I asked them to check him out for me. My friend looked over their list first and apparently vetoed some questions that were too straight-from-a-tv-wedding-ceremony. Though, they were still awfully concerned about my material well being.
"Do have a house, a car, and money?"
A lot of the questions have obvious "right" answers. But they're still the questions that people want the answers to. We're just "too polite" to actually ask them.
"What do you like about her?"
Or at least to ask them of our friend's new partner. We ask our friend what they like about the new person in their life. Much less likely to ask the new partner.
"What are you good at?"
The friend who introduced me to the middle-school second opinion system let her kids be on their own with her partner. She got the video tape in the end.
"What would you change about him?" "If you changed all of him, what would you change back?"
We didn't have a proper camera. Nor did we really have another place for me to go in my friend's apartment building, so I was sitting beside List Guy for his interview. It was one of the most adorable feeling moments we've had together.
"Do you smoke or drink?"
I hope we didn't make my friend gag. Maybe that's the other reason these the middle schoolers are better at these interviews. We like a bit of other people's romance in the movies. Too much from our friends quickly gets to be Too Much. Middle school is more of a time of watching others' relationships in books and movies and real-life as you dreaming what your future relationships will be.
"Do you trust her?"
And really, only an interview by middle-schoolers can end with an on-demand talent show to prove that you didn't lie earlier.
Middle schoolers are my favorite for giving a second opinions on your relationship. Or at least, they do a bang-up job of checking out your partner.
"Will you stay by her side?"
When I was back for graduation, my friend showed me a video of her middle school students interviewing her fiance. They bounce back and forth between "What are your intentions?" and "What is her favorite color?" Both important questions when you think about it.
"Will you buy her anything she wants?"
So when I realized List Guy was going to meet one of my best friends while she had two middle schoolers living with her, I asked them to check him out for me. My friend looked over their list first and apparently vetoed some questions that were too straight-from-a-tv-wedding-ceremony. Though, they were still awfully concerned about my material well being.
"Do have a house, a car, and money?"
A lot of the questions have obvious "right" answers. But they're still the questions that people want the answers to. We're just "too polite" to actually ask them.
"What do you like about her?"
Or at least to ask them of our friend's new partner. We ask our friend what they like about the new person in their life. Much less likely to ask the new partner.
"What are you good at?"
The friend who introduced me to the middle-school second opinion system let her kids be on their own with her partner. She got the video tape in the end.
"What would you change about him?" "If you changed all of him, what would you change back?"
We didn't have a proper camera. Nor did we really have another place for me to go in my friend's apartment building, so I was sitting beside List Guy for his interview. It was one of the most adorable feeling moments we've had together.
"Do you smoke or drink?"
I hope we didn't make my friend gag. Maybe that's the other reason these the middle schoolers are better at these interviews. We like a bit of other people's romance in the movies. Too much from our friends quickly gets to be Too Much. Middle school is more of a time of watching others' relationships in books and movies and real-life as you dreaming what your future relationships will be.
"Do you trust her?"
And really, only an interview by middle-schoolers can end with an on-demand talent show to prove that you didn't lie earlier.
Monday, July 16, 2012
The first time I served as skipper...
15 knot winds. 4 to 5 foot waves.
And I rocked it. Neither my partner nor I had ever been sailing before. The instructors weren't on our boat. We kept asking each other what in the world we were supposed to do. Strategizing before action does not work as well when you're already moving. Not being able to relate theory to practice until you do things is confusing. Not gonna lie, there was unintentional tacking. But we didn't run into anyone. And the only time we capsized was when we were instructed to.
22. Go sailing--Check!
And I rocked it. Neither my partner nor I had ever been sailing before. The instructors weren't on our boat. We kept asking each other what in the world we were supposed to do. Strategizing before action does not work as well when you're already moving. Not being able to relate theory to practice until you do things is confusing. Not gonna lie, there was unintentional tacking. But we didn't run into anyone. And the only time we capsized was when we were instructed to.
22. Go sailing--Check!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Getting around
I believe in public transportation, but after two weekends of public transit I am not visiting
list guy again without a car.
Some places (where I live now) are fine to visit without a
car. Some are near impossible unless you’re on a bike tour or run across the
nation campaign (where I lived then). I can get to him on the bus. And he
doesn’t have a car. So we should be good?
Except.
He rides a bike and I don’t.
And the buses near him are designed for weekday commutes
and I visit on weekends.
And he’s okay not knowing who’s giving him a ride home at
the end of the evening. I burst into tears when it’s late and it’s loud and I’m
exhausted and I want to go home and we don’t have a plan.*
If he ends up o the wrong side of everywhere, he’s okay
walking in the middle of the night for hours. I start asking how to get a cab.
I hate spending money on cabs in my city. But then, I can almost always get
home on transit. The rides might be long, but the stops aren’t miles away from
my place and the waits aren’t going to be nearly an hour long.
I know bringing my car will bring it’s own issues of parking
and navigation, but suspect it will help bridge more obstacles than it creates.
I wrote this post on my bus
The one I take pretty much every weekday
Ironic or point in case? I'm not sure which.
*Doesn’t that make you want to invite me to your next party?
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Postsecret
Question:
Answer:
Yes. They may not announce it to the church. They may not even tell it to the one(s) they love. But yes.
I'm sure the loved's response varies based on the situation. I am grateful that (atheist) list boy comes to church with me. The people that know him are humored by it. The people I've told at church are initially confused by it and then supportive.
I'm not trying to convert him. I am trying to share a part of myself that is foreign to him. He started coming to church with me without my asking him to. He invited me to the worship he attended as a child, despite obviously not attending anymore. It reassures me that while we have deep religious differences, he can be open to mine. If anything, I need to learn how to be open to his.
Answer:
Yes. They may not announce it to the church. They may not even tell it to the one(s) they love. But yes.
I'm sure the loved's response varies based on the situation. I am grateful that (atheist) list boy comes to church with me. The people that know him are humored by it. The people I've told at church are initially confused by it and then supportive.
I'm not trying to convert him. I am trying to share a part of myself that is foreign to him. He started coming to church with me without my asking him to. He invited me to the worship he attended as a child, despite obviously not attending anymore. It reassures me that while we have deep religious differences, he can be open to mine. If anything, I need to learn how to be open to his.
Not sure how our parents will handle all this.
I haven't mentioned it to mine.
Can't really tell what his father knows.
I'm trusting everyone to trust us.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Weekend Snapshots: Last Student Graduation Edition
Things to remember from this weekend:
- The immediate feeling of forgetting what the city is like. Accepting it's a different world.
- Hug attack when my girl saw me.
- "I'm glad you made it," from her mom.
- Gossip sessions with everyone. Hearing their redemption stories.
- Swimming in the lake. Even if I didn't jump off the cliff.
- Wandering trails a mile from where I used to live, but never knew about.
- Being told, "It's good you left when you did."
- Sprinkle ice cream cones and cheese balls.
- Telling the Hallmark movie it's being ridiculous for not having any mud on the cars driving a dirt road to camp. Looking at my dust-covered rental as proof.
- Getting to know my replacement. A year after she's been replaced.
- Sitting outside writing the goodbye letters.
- Shout-out during the graduation speech.
- Nicknaming my girl's friend within minutes of meeting him.
- Meeting my other girl's fiance.
- Worrying about their future. Even the ones you don't worry about, you do.
- Seeing past graduates. The one home from military for a few weeks. The baby-daddy holding his kid. The college-girl set to graduate. The runaway this time honestly released from jail. The college freshman pumped for next year. The gangsters chilling.
- "I knew this is what you were getting me." "Good. I mean, I told you years ago. Had to look hard to get the right color pink."
- Interrupting conversation every few minutes with, "Wow. You really can see the eclipse."
- Failed cell phone calls. Of course.
- Cooking with the roommate. Because we miss doing that.
- Getting a warning for speeding. Despite a rental car and an out of state license.
- Realizing I never spent time in the city when I lived here. Driving new routes, discovering better food, exploring new parks.
- Reconsidering calling a place this size a city.
- Reading this post in the airport. Watching the video. Finally starting my cathartic cry.
- Watching Grey’s and sharing a bottle of good wine, because that’s what we do.
- Going out stargazing. Deciding not to turn around, but to follow the other path back. Failing to find the other path. (Ooops.)
- 34 graduates. Optimistic 9 going away to college. Cross your fingers for that ninth one.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Alas
This was the week I was going to get things done.
Next week I travel to see my girls graduate. The next week I'll be here, but preoccupied with A's wedding.
So this week was to get things done.
Monday started off okay. Despite waking up with a cold, I put in a full day. And actually had things to show. Tuesday, I managed a decent half day. And Wednesday I had a couple of hours of work.
And Thursday was when I finally started calling it the flu instead of a cold.
Fever's been gone for over a day. But I still feel awful. And am not sure when the work will get done. But now, it's time to veg some more. Hoping that will let my body recuperate.
Next week I travel to see my girls graduate. The next week I'll be here, but preoccupied with A's wedding.
So this week was to get things done.
Monday started off okay. Despite waking up with a cold, I put in a full day. And actually had things to show. Tuesday, I managed a decent half day. And Wednesday I had a couple of hours of work.
And Thursday was when I finally started calling it the flu instead of a cold.
Fever's been gone for over a day. But I still feel awful. And am not sure when the work will get done. But now, it's time to veg some more. Hoping that will let my body recuperate.
I'm a bad patient
Thursday, April 26, 2012
My Sister The Nerd Lover
She complained that my college wasn't nerdy enough. "But seriously the college got rid of the Linux lab my sophomore year. That was a huge factor in my decision. Tsk Tsk."
I didn't understand. Nor do I have sympathy for her. You, my dear friends, are nerds enough for me.
The problem is that we have different frames of reference. My high school didn't have so much of the nerds. Her's was an extreme.
Case in point. She's applying for cool jobs now, so I'm stalking the jobs page of every cool start-up. This apparently leads to me looking at photos of "generic looking nerds." My sister's reaction, "Hey, I think I know that person."
So today, she mentions that one of the people from her high school is working at a well-known start-up (whose page I happened to be examining yesterday). I go back to the page and scroll around as we talk about the lack of women in the field. (The recruitment team was skewed toward women though maybe not as much as engineer team was toward men.) I comment about how there are nerds and then there are people who really stand out as nerds. Extra pale skin. Extra nerdy props. Turns out of all the people working at the start-up, the guy I picked out as the nerdiest is the one she knows.
A nerd among nerds I tell you.
Now then, I'm off to read Girl Genius.
I didn't understand. Nor do I have sympathy for her. You, my dear friends, are nerds enough for me.
The problem is that we have different frames of reference. My high school didn't have so much of the nerds. Her's was an extreme.
Case in point. She's applying for cool jobs now, so I'm stalking the jobs page of every cool start-up. This apparently leads to me looking at photos of "generic looking nerds." My sister's reaction, "Hey, I think I know that person."
So today, she mentions that one of the people from her high school is working at a well-known start-up (whose page I happened to be examining yesterday). I go back to the page and scroll around as we talk about the lack of women in the field. (The recruitment team was skewed toward women though maybe not as much as engineer team was toward men.) I comment about how there are nerds and then there are people who really stand out as nerds. Extra pale skin. Extra nerdy props. Turns out of all the people working at the start-up, the guy I picked out as the nerdiest is the one she knows.
A nerd among nerds I tell you.
Now then, I'm off to read Girl Genius.
I don't really care that you can see the end of the story coming a mile away
I'm writing it to remember it for me, more than to amuse you
Rites of Passage
I've been spotted around his neighborhood. Ran into
matchmaker's father two weekends ago. I worried that I was hungry and tired and coming down with a cold, but was assured, "The whole neighborhood is pleased with your visits to his parents house."
His parents pulled out the baby pictures last weekend. Diapered-butt on full display as he hung on to the crib and stared out the widow.
My parents got to see a picture of the two of us together. Dressed for church and cooking breakfast. (Thank you Aunt who stalks Facebook.)
I've heard some of his family stories often enough that I could probably tell them. Might get some details wrong, but could probably catch the spirit. (It's funny which stories get evoked most often. I hear more about his sister than I do about him.)
We're planning our first trips together. Reunion for me. Cabin weekend with the matchmakers. I'm curious about what stories we'll add to our repertoire.
His parents pulled out the baby pictures last weekend. Diapered-butt on full display as he hung on to the crib and stared out the widow.
My parents got to see a picture of the two of us together. Dressed for church and cooking breakfast. (Thank you Aunt who stalks Facebook.)
I've heard some of his family stories often enough that I could probably tell them. Might get some details wrong, but could probably catch the spirit. (It's funny which stories get evoked most often. I hear more about his sister than I do about him.)
We're planning our first trips together. Reunion for me. Cabin weekend with the matchmakers. I'm curious about what stories we'll add to our repertoire.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Something to make me smile
Two weeks ago was the funeral.
Which means that two and three-quarters weeks ago I changed my computer background to what it was through most of my undergrad years.
My grandparents. Years and years ago. I think of it as "the courtship photo." My sister refers to it as "argyle socks."
But really it shows me love and style. Something a little bit classic and a little bit comfort.
It lets me sneak a glimpse of the past to give myself hope for the future.
Which means that two and three-quarters weeks ago I changed my computer background to what it was through most of my undergrad years.
My grandparents. Years and years ago. I think of it as "the courtship photo." My sister refers to it as "argyle socks."
But really it shows me love and style. Something a little bit classic and a little bit comfort.
It lets me sneak a glimpse of the past to give myself hope for the future.
You should comment on the adorableness of the photo.
Maybe not so much the opening sentence,
though know your thoughts and love are felt and appreciated.
Maybe not so much the opening sentence,
though know your thoughts and love are felt and appreciated.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Sliver of the awesomeness of the past month
42. Lead a swingout.
I need to practice a whole lot more before I can lead a swingout on the social floor without, as the friend I tried it on phrased it, "concentrating so hard." But, I can do it!
44. Go to the opera (and stay for the entire show)
Made it through the whole show without a single cough!
I need to practice a whole lot more before I can lead a swingout on the social floor without, as the friend I tried it on phrased it, "concentrating so hard." But, I can do it!
44. Go to the opera (and stay for the entire show)
Made it through the whole show without a single cough!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Five Weeks
Five weeks ago I added this to the list:
30. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with a boy
Three weeks and a couple of days ago I bought a pair of ice skates. Renting them costs $6-$10 dollars a time. Good skates from a good store cost about $80. I have at least three winters left in a city with free rinks. The math seemed favorable.
The next day I went on a first date. We went ice skating.
We have been ice skating every weekend since. Yesterday was our first time at my city's most visible rink. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with the guy I'm dating and feeling pretty adorable. Check!
30. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with a boy
Maybe not “my boy” but it felt adorable just the same. The night before I left the county, I took some friends up on their ice skating invite. It's one of the parts of living in a Northern city that I feel like people talk about wanting to do, more than actually doing. I'm glad I did it.
Three weeks and a couple of days ago I bought a pair of ice skates. Renting them costs $6-$10 dollars a time. Good skates from a good store cost about $80. I have at least three winters left in a city with free rinks. The math seemed favorable.
The next day I went on a first date. We went ice skating.
We have been ice skating every weekend since. Yesterday was our first time at my city's most visible rink. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with the guy I'm dating and feeling pretty adorable. Check!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Young'un
Finding of the day: I am 8 days older than one of the youngest students in the first year cohort.
She got very puzzled trying to do the math of how I ended up two years ahead of her in the program.
Also, almost everyone I'm TAing is older than me.
Sometimes I forget how much earlier I came to this program than most people do.
She got very puzzled trying to do the math of how I ended up two years ahead of her in the program.
Also, almost everyone I'm TAing is older than me.
Sometimes I forget how much earlier I came to this program than most people do.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Warm Fuzzies
“What are we doing here?” he asked.
Whamamambaaaaaeerrmmmmm.
“Playing along.”
He looked at me. Thought a second. And then he went for the kiss.
~~~
A mutual best friend played matchmaker. Without actually giving us much to go on. So two dates in, he was wondering if I was out of his league. I was wondering if I was nerdy enough for his league. We were both wondering if we actually liked the other person.
Two days later, after an hour of chatting online, he sent the message “why are you here?”
You know me, I started making a list.
1) because we've managed to actually have conversation for hours and hours
2) you used my line on me without knowing that you did
I made it to 10 that night.
~~~
The next morning I had another 5, so I sent them. Ten more by that evening. It’s continued the exponential growth* this week. But that’s not sustainable, so I’m restricting myself to a linear pattern in the e-mails.
~~~
Of course, one of the reasons I’m continuing this is because he started making a list too. I see a new e-mail, get all happy smiley, and then I get to read the list. And reread the list. And then, an hour later reread all of both of our lists.
The warm fuzzies bubble up. Some points are recognized, “Oh, that’s me. You get that.” Some are more of the vein, “Huh. Guess I do that, don’t I?” Some make me feel adorable. Some resonate, “A fellow nerd!” Some plain-out make me feel special.
~~~
A week ago, the jury was out on whether I liked him. By number 40 on the list, I think the answer was obvious. And when we both reach 100 reasons for being here, I think I'll stop playing along and start dating the guy.
Whamamambaaaaaeerrmmmmm.
“Playing along.”
He looked at me. Thought a second. And then he went for the kiss.
~~~
A mutual best friend played matchmaker. Without actually giving us much to go on. So two dates in, he was wondering if I was out of his league. I was wondering if I was nerdy enough for his league. We were both wondering if we actually liked the other person.
Two days later, after an hour of chatting online, he sent the message “why are you here?”
You know me, I started making a list.
1) because we've managed to actually have conversation for hours and hours
2) you used my line on me without knowing that you did
I made it to 10 that night.
~~~
The next morning I had another 5, so I sent them. Ten more by that evening. It’s continued the exponential growth* this week. But that’s not sustainable, so I’m restricting myself to a linear pattern in the e-mails.
~~~
Of course, one of the reasons I’m continuing this is because he started making a list too. I see a new e-mail, get all happy smiley, and then I get to read the list. And reread the list. And then, an hour later reread all of both of our lists.
The warm fuzzies bubble up. Some points are recognized, “Oh, that’s me. You get that.” Some are more of the vein, “Huh. Guess I do that, don’t I?” Some make me feel adorable. Some resonate, “A fellow nerd!” Some plain-out make me feel special.
~~~
A week ago, the jury was out on whether I liked him. By number 40 on the list, I think the answer was obvious. And when we both reach 100 reasons for being here, I think I'll stop playing along and start dating the guy.
*I was corrected. Quadratic.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Complaining
I've started becoming a complainer.
~~~
I bought a pair of Blondo boots last winter from a local shoe store. Love the boots. But when I pulled them out for this season, I noticed the heel had worn funny. Looked at the brand's website and saw this:
And they did.
I picked them up today. No charge. ('Cause there shouldn't be.) Bought a pair of socks though.
~~~
There's a tube of toothpaste sitting on the back of my couch. It's the same brand I always use, but crazy bad batch. The minty flavor didn't get stirred in with the paste. Or something. There's a number to let them know, and, y'know, I think I will.
~~~
I have a new favorite store for clothes. Bought a couple hundred dollars worth of merchandise there this fall (which is a lot for me). One of my cool new shirts got holes in it from threads breaking. I sent the store an e-mail to let them know.
It wasn't written with the intent of whining. I told them all the things I liked about the store too. But there was a message that said, "I thought you were better than this. This isn't what I thought I bought."
We'll see if anything comes of it.
~~~
My internet company sent a letter that they're increasing the speed (more than I need) and raising prices. While I might have done enough complaining in the past week, it may be about time to see about switching companies for that service too.
~~~
It's strange becoming the person who complains. It's not something we respect per se. Too easy to hear it as whining or being a jerk. But there is something empowering in claiming "This is not what I expected." When something doesn't last as long as it should, it's okay to use the warranty. When something is bad straightway, it's okay to return it. It's not about being cheap. It is about getting what I paid for.
~~~
I bought a pair of Blondo boots last winter from a local shoe store. Love the boots. But when I pulled them out for this season, I noticed the heel had worn funny. Looked at the brand's website and saw this:
Our Blondo products are guaranteed against manufacturing defects under normal wear. The defective product must be returned to the retailer who will apply its own return policy.Okay then. Took my boots to the store before I left town for three weeks. "The website said I should bring them here?" I *think* they would have let me return the boots. "No! I like them! Is it possible to get them repaired?"
And they did.
I picked them up today. No charge. ('Cause there shouldn't be.) Bought a pair of socks though.
~~~
There's a tube of toothpaste sitting on the back of my couch. It's the same brand I always use, but crazy bad batch. The minty flavor didn't get stirred in with the paste. Or something. There's a number to let them know, and, y'know, I think I will.
~~~
I have a new favorite store for clothes. Bought a couple hundred dollars worth of merchandise there this fall (which is a lot for me). One of my cool new shirts got holes in it from threads breaking. I sent the store an e-mail to let them know.
It wasn't written with the intent of whining. I told them all the things I liked about the store too. But there was a message that said, "I thought you were better than this. This isn't what I thought I bought."
We'll see if anything comes of it.
~~~
My internet company sent a letter that they're increasing the speed (more than I need) and raising prices. While I might have done enough complaining in the past week, it may be about time to see about switching companies for that service too.
~~~
It's strange becoming the person who complains. It's not something we respect per se. Too easy to hear it as whining or being a jerk. But there is something empowering in claiming "This is not what I expected." When something doesn't last as long as it should, it's okay to use the warranty. When something is bad straightway, it's okay to return it. It's not about being cheap. It is about getting what I paid for.
Smartwool socks are always a good gift idea for me
Especially if they're cute ones
My parents know this
So me buying the socks
Actually is kinda a big deal
Especially if they're cute ones
My parents know this
So me buying the socks
Actually is kinda a big deal
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Life Checks: Adding to the list
I'm 40% though the existing life check list in 30% of the time. Since I think it's working for me, I'm going to add some more. While I like the, "by the time I'm 30" for the original 25, I like the five years better. So these are some of the ideas I'll be keeping in mind between now and 2017.
~~~
26. Listen to all of the SXSW download tracks during the calendar year I download them.
37. Fill out grownup documents. b) Keep documents updated. Fill out more as necessary.
38. Ask a woman to run for office
39. Submit an oped
40. Get published
41. Apply for dissertation year fellowships in the fall of 2012
42. Lead a swingout
43. Read a poem at open mic (or participate in a poetry slam)
44. Go to the opera (and stay for the entire show)
45. Use Victoria’s Secret coupons until I don’t run out of underwear
46. Mail a letter or card every week for three months
47. Buy something at the cafe across the street from me at least once a month
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