Neighborhood love

I'm sitting in my "home office" aka the coffee shop across the street.* The mail carrier is walking back to his van. He stops. Bends at the waist. And brings his hands to his face binoculars style to look at me while I wave hi. Because we are adorable like that.

*This is the place that I wanted to go to once a month. 

I've never managed that. 

But this month they've become my BFFs. 

I mean, they know my mom and ask after her. 

And I carry $2.46 in my bag to pay for my first cup of tea.

Reason #325 I'm glad I visited Nicaragua

From e-mail sent to my friends last Friday.

Hi dears ,

I haven't been feeling well since sometime on Tuesday. Told my family I had an unhappy gut. Yesterday on my way home, I checked with parents for advice. We agreed that the possibility that I picked something up in Nica made it worth going ahead and getting to the doctor sooner rather than later. 

Doctor wasn't sure what was going on. Symptoms weren't really parasite. Not really flu. You still have your appendix? I was sent home on watch and wait with instructions to go to er if I had pain get worse or started a fever of 100. 

So when temp was 99.1 at 6 and 99.3 at 6:30 last night, I called a friend to take me in. The ct scan gave a clear diagnosis of appendicitis. Apparently nasty too. This morning the surgeon who took it out last night was trying to assess my pain. Is it worse than last night? Last night was never all that bad. But your appendix looked like a kielbasa sausage.

So, given all of that, I am very glad that I thought it might be a parasite and worth visiting the doctor. And also glad that I don't. (This is so much easier to diagnose and treat in the US.)

Feeling fairly well now. Sore but I was just given more pain meds. My ant is with me. Mom is flying out. I will probably go home this afternoon. Hope your life is less exciting than mine at the moment ;)

Love,

Me

~~~

Mom flew home this morning. I have a Google doc with friends signed up to visit me every day for the next week. I'm planning on going into the office everyday next week. Though I'm not promising a full day there any day. Healing is an exhausting process. And it's naptime again.

Weekend snapshots--Booze, food, money, and love

I got the drugs and alcohol talk from my mom this weekend. She's not sure we had it when I was in high school.  Apparently, the latest is that if I have alcohol in my apartment, it's okay to not hide it when my parents visit.

~~~

After inviting a friend over for brunch, I asked list guy:

Do you want lemon poppyseed scones with omelette for breakfast or  kaiserschmarrn?
Whatever.

I started making the scones. Then realized I didn't have black poppyseeds. A cup of flour, cup of sugar, and zest from one lemon are waiting patiently. 

And I'm thankful I had the perfect number of eggs to follow the recipe of the breakfast dish that's our favorite for lazy weekend mornings.

~~~

21. Invest in stocks/mutual fund beyond the work retirement fund

After sending off my taxes for 2012, I put half my savings account toward opening a Roth IRA. I'm excited that I invested in a socially responsible mutual fund. Because I think it's important to be mindful about who I'm supporting with my money.

Some of my money is in a fund that specifically targets companies that work toward gender equality. The top companies are still banks and tech and big names you'd recognize. But it's intentionally chosen to be places where women are represented on the board and in senior management. (I'm choosing not the be disillusioned by the fact that we get excited when there are three women on a 14-member board.)

I also chose a fund that focuses on the environment. Energy efficiency and water infrastructure and technologies make up half the fund. Renewable energy is only a tiny sliver of the big picture.

Anyway. An excited check.

~~~

We went to the delicious neighborhood Purevian restaurant. Ordered a pitcher of Pisco Sour mix. Let them add from the Pisco I'd bought on the way over.

A pitcher might be more than two people should split.....Maybe. Especially if one of those people is me?

Added the liquor to my booze shelf. Hidden from my parents above the kitchen sink.* Will probably try making them at home sometime. Need to get his mom's recipe (I had it last summer). But until then, there are plenty of other cocktails to try.

~~~

I'm out of fresh fruit and was too lazy to go to the grocery store. Got my fruit and veggies fix by making my first, second, and third green smoothies.

A cup of OJ + some slices of frozen ginger + 3-5 leaves of kale.
Added chia seeds twice.
Frozen strawberries once.
Frozen blueberries another time.

Smoothies without the kale are better. But I like this for a certain I've-been-eating-too-much-fat-and-sugar mood.

~~~

After seeing the current show on our subscription to the nearest theater, we talked about various taboos. (Warning, judging other people's relationships ahead.)

Same-gender love? Totally cool with it.
Introducing your new lover to your mistress? Enh. Open-relationships seem difficult. But if everyone's on board and ya'll discuss it go for it. Summary, to break taboos you have to break taboos.
Making moves on someone twice your age? Somehow age gaps feel less remarkable in real life when I know the people. Age gaps in fiction feel creepy.
Forbidden love between cousins? Sometimes taboos are taboo for a reason. At least promise you won't get each other pregnant or anything like that.

~~~

Finally, happy shoutout to mm who was able to meet list guy AND visit my church. And got eat delicious sandwiches. Still excited you're near for now!

*It's always been there.

 Conveniently not in the way of everything else. 

I even think there was alcohol up there the last time they visited.

Getting around

I believe in public transportation, but after two weekends of public transit I am not visiting list guy again without a car.

Some places (where I live now) are fine to visit without a car. Some are near impossible unless you’re on a bike tour or run across the nation campaign (where I lived then). I can get to him on the bus. And he doesn’t have a car. So we should be good?

Except. 

He rides a bike and I don’t.

And the buses near him are designed for weekday commutes and I visit on weekends.

And he’s okay not knowing who’s giving him a ride home at the end of the evening. I burst into tears when it’s late and it’s loud and I’m exhausted and I want to go home and we don’t have a plan.*

If he ends up o the wrong side of everywhere, he’s okay walking in the middle of the night for hours. I start asking how to get a cab. I hate spending money on cabs in my city. But then, I can almost always get home on transit. The rides might be long, but the stops aren’t miles away from my place and the waits aren’t going to be nearly an hour long.

I know bringing my car will bring it’s own issues of parking and navigation, but suspect it will help bridge more obstacles than it creates.

I wrote this post on my bus

The one I take pretty much every weekday

Ironic or point in case? I'm not sure which.

*Doesn’t that make you want to invite me to your next party? 

Five Weeks

Five weeks ago I added this to the list:

30. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with a boy

Maybe not “my boy” but it felt adorable just the same. The night before I left the county, I took some friends up on their ice skating invite. It's one of the parts of living in a Northern city that I feel like people talk about wanting to do, more than actually doing. I'm glad I did it.

Three weeks and a couple of days ago I bought a pair of ice skates. Renting them costs $6-$10 dollars a time. Good skates from a good store cost about $80. I have at least three winters left in a city with free rinks. The math seemed favorable.

The next day I went on a first date. We went ice skating.

We have been ice skating every weekend since. Yesterday was our first time at my city's most visible rink. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with the guy I'm dating and feeling pretty adorable. Check!

In the streets our heads are lifting

Driving home. Stopped at the traffic light. I'm playing one of my mixes on the stereo. It's on a favorite song (because they're all favorite songs) that I associate with a friend who I don't get to see often enough. We had quality time last week though, so I'm riding that high. And, of course, dancing along.

Waving my hands in the air, I raise my head. There's a guy coming down the middle of the street with a sign. He's looking at me and smiling.

I keep dancing and smile back at him.

I didn't share my money. But somehow we shared a moment.

Perv

*Trigger alert*


And some space for you to leave if necessary.

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Okay then.




Incident on the train today resulted in me pressing the call button "There's a guy masturbating. His penis is out." And then repeating the message for the conductor.

Disgusting. Terrible. Sickening.

My takeaways:

• Always make sure there are MULTIPLE people on your train car. Even in the middle of the day. Even when the doors to the train car are still open.
• Sit near the call button. Use it when necessary. People will respond.
  
• My response was a valid one. It addressed the situation (if I'd just left, he'd get away with it). But it didn't require me to engage directly with him.
• That rush of adrenaline will eventually make me shaky.
• I can think of friends who I can go to when I need to debrief. (Even when I know people are out of town. And others have moved. And others I'm not close enough to yet. The person I needed was home.)
• I am grateful to live in a place where this is NOT acceptable. It is NOT something that should be normal. And here it is not.

I'll be okay tomorrow. Tonight I'm still shaken and letting it affect my actions. It ruined my dancing mood. At the restaurant we went for dessert I waited for the women's bathroom to be unlocked rather than use the men's to wash my hands. (Even after my friend, who had just gotten out of there told me I should use it.) Normally, no hesitation. But for tonight, I'll let myself be extra wary.

Power to look people in the eye

I could wear non-tennis/hiking shoes again today!

Explanation: I've been wearing my Merrells all week because I realized on Sunday that I was twisting my foot funny when I walked and that wasn't good. I was twisting my foot to avoid walking on a blister on the ball of my foot that I got when I went to a party Saturday night.

A party to which I wore my 4-inch stiletto black boots. Check!

I really don't think I would have gotten such the blister if the evening had gone as expected. Cross the street to the bus. Ride downtown. Walk two blocks. Do the party thing. Change into flats and go home.

The two blocks turned into twelve. What can I say? Streets get funny sometimes. Buildings pop up right where you don't need them to be. Walkways aren't clear. I called twice for directions.

But in the end I made it. And got to spend the evening being tall. (Especially since the male half of the guests tended to be going stocking-footed.)

Check plus.

Do I know you? The game

After church I'm approached by a woman about my age. Not surprising, I just joined and people were told to greet us.

You look familar.

A quick glance. Y'know, maybe.

So do you.

And like that the game is begun.

~~~

Begin by listing affiliations. The last place I worked. My college. Nope. Not that.

She went to grad school at the place where I'm at now. Graduated in 2009 with a degree in chemical engineering.

Were you involved with the graduate women's group?
Yes!

Ah ha! We found it. But no. Wait. You graduated in 2009. I started in 2009. That couldn't be it.

And then I figure it out.

~~~

Megan? You're Sara's friend! You went to that church!*

Fifteen months ago, I visited her church. It was my first time attending there. Possibly her last. Four of us went out for brunch after the service--two old, two new. We friended each other on Facebook, but that was all. She was moving out of the life that I was entering.

~~~

There's a neat parallel to her greeting me after I joined today. A validation that it's okay for me to not be joining the church where she originally greeted me.

~~~

I've invited her to our Sunday School class. Who knows, maybe we'll end up real life friends yet.


*Names changed. As always. Initials just lost too much of the feel here.

And thus she joins the unknown guy from college who I ran into in DC
and the illustrator who I met at an arts festival and then saw at church
in the list of people with whom I have successfully won the game

Reflecting on address

I've finally gotten through the official paperwork transition to living in the city. After 10 months in my apartment, I switched driver's licenses today.

Registered to vote too.

And got the title of the car figured out. (I'd already changed the plates.)

---

My old place didn't have an address.

I looked at the map the UPS guy had in his truck. My trailer wasn't there. It's the same map the emergency services used, so I made up an address based on the neighbors'. Put it on the fridge in case we needed it.

Honestly, I don't even remember the street.

But driver's licenses require a street address. The PO box won't do. "Ummm....I live in teacher housing?" I offered when asked. So my official address for those years was Tchr Hsing.

---

Today I got asked if I wanted to include my apartment number on my new license.

I didn't. Figured it was safer not to. The lady checking me through agreed.

When I said I lived in teacher housing, it was with the confidence that people would be able to find me in town. Just find the school security guard. It's not that hard.

Even with the street address given, I still feel more hidden here.