Bias

When scientists in my profession publish results of their investigations they try not to reference other studies more than twenty or thirty years old. Those works are considered outdated, superseded by later investigations presumed more worth because more recent. Like the echoing mantra of Eminent Domain, the science that guides us seems anxious to discard the old, bring in the new. This casting aside of history may partly explain why, the older I get, the more I’m fascinated by it.

An old book I have describes the invasion of the Great Plains by cattle. The book smells like the libraries I inhabited during my dispersal years and where I first discovered girls who like reading. Does that bias my appreciation for it?

~page 80, Grass: In Search of Human Habitat by Joe C. Truett

Linked

At a concert yesterday, I liked this song,



because it reminded me of this video



that a friend sent out on Twitter today. After I rewatched the video, I went to the page for the show that inspired it where I listened to the current show that includes this interview



with a woman who, just last year, appeared with the folksinger in the first video.

I love the interconnected world.

Begin ticking items off

2. Pay off the student loans--DONE!

Little bit cheating, I did submit the payment before my birthday. But after it made it onto the list. Figured the way the market is, any money I'd invest would be at a lower interest rate than my debt. But DONE!!

Apparently I even overpaid by 16 cents. To see the elephants jump over the fence.

Wanders off to play handgames, a very grown-up endeavor, I promise.

25 Life Checks for the Next 5 years

1. Fry ice cream with Hannah
2. Pay off the student loans
3. Finish collecting degrees
4. Visit Hong Kong (or wherever in Asia my friends end up)
5. Pay to go to a show by myself (I already go to free ones, but this needs to be something I really want to see)
6. Have a windowsill full of houseplants
7. West Coast bound roadtrip
8. See the glaciers at Glacier National Park
9. Go to the northwoods
10. Do a canoe trip
11. Blow glass
12. Participate in NaNoWriMo
13. Complete a picture-a-day assignment
14. Grow herbs from seeds
15. Have a successful window garden (Huh, must really want this one. Or not. Saw it up there at number 7. Only gets to count once.)
16. Learn to recognize and use 25 native plants
17. Make a pair of earrings that I’ll wear as if they were my favorites
18. Find/Make an occasion to wear those 4-inch stiletto black boots
19. Keep in touch with a student through college graduation
20. Attend my sister’s graduation
21. Invest in stocks/mutual fund beyond the work retirement fund
22. Go sailing
23. Give yoga a second chance
24. Read all the new Newbery and Caldecott winners
25. Give more boldly
26. Go for two weeks where I wear something that I made daily (not saying that it has to be exclusively my-made stuff, just something)

Surprisingly difficult to come up with the right goals for this list. I was taught that goals should be ambitious, yet attainable. Not sure how much I buy into that, sometimes I like ridiculous goals. Or the ones that are already checked off. But neither of those fit this project.

Travel goals are easy for the list. It's clear when you've attained them. Clean my apartment/car. Not so much.

Craft goals don't really do it for me. More on ispiration than goals. If there was a goal, then it'd be done. Ditto with cooking.

Relationship goals, don't fit. Trying not to be on a timeline with them. Reconnect with people when I'm inspired to. Meet new people as life happens.

So yes. These are the written goals. Unwritten bonus is to keep bees. But really, we'll see where life takes me. Adventures to follow. (Perhaps, even to be written up.)

Repressed

Seriously? You're asking again? My first no wasn't enough? I wanted to avoid the total rejection spiel, but you better believe I can be a total mood killer. I will walk away. If you get me to come back, you better have an apology. At least don't push the issue further.

I have practice not going along with the crowd. I can not go along with you too. I won't feel bad about it. I refuse to. I will get ticked off at you though. And no one needs the building resentment that comes from pushing the point.

Whether you know them or not, there's a reason for my actions. Sure, they're not always logic-oriented, rational-based reasons. (The reasons you're giving me aren't either.) But they're my reasons. They work for me. Talk to me about them often enough, in an effort to understand them, and I may eventually change my view. But it has to be a change that I own. You can't make it for me. So don't even bother trying.

25 Life Checks from the First 5 years of my 20s

1. Learn to ski
1. Cross-country
2. Downhill
2. Start a blog
3. Move somewhere not knowing anybody
4. Keep in touch with friends
5. Learn to cook Indian food
6. Room with a stranger
1. And become friends
7. Live by myself
8. See my students graduate
9. Roadtrip to visit friends
10. Stay in a hotel by myself
11. Write something I’m proud of
12. Ask a stranger to dance
13. Go on a real date
14. Learn to use a pottery wheel
15. Go on a backpacking trip (even a short one)
16. Build a one-match fire
17. Track down a teacher to say thank you
1. Ditto for a camp counselor
18. Go to free concerts and dance by the stage
19. Learn to be okay when people around me are drinking and I don’t want to
20. Take a photo that I’m willing to frame and display
21. Organize a meet-up with people I only know from the Internetz
22. Meet a guy in the library
23. Go to another country
1. On a religious pilgrimage
2. To visit a friend
24. Stay close to my family, despite the distance
25. See a movie on opening night

Inspired

In one of those twists of web surfing, I found several sites where people are making life lists. Or things to do before I'm 25. You get the idea.

Before I join in, I'm going to spend the rest of the evening reflecting on the past 4.97 years (plus a few months maybe?) coming up with a life list of things accomplished. Then I'll have two weeks to come up with a list to do before I'm 30. (And please, if you have suggestions for me, let me know in the comments.)

Wishing for some magic

The first installment of summer fling meet the friends went reasonably well.

(Why yes. We do have some gossip to catch up on. Let's set up a skype date, shall we? Warning, I'm out of town this weekend.)

Everyone seemed to like everyone else. Which made me realize how incredibly much I value some people's input.

~~~

S.F. commented that amid his moves and not knowing where home was anymore he doesn't feel like he has the strong friendships as much right now. I looked back up at my apartment thinking through the past five to seven years.

Those friends are quality. We're keeping in touch--no matter where our lives take us. I mean, I moved to the country and S. was still one of my biggest supports. And A. got extended debriefs when I saw her. Now she's in another country, and, even if we don't talk as often as we should, she's someone I trust with stories and secrets. And the two of them have been supports for each other as well.

I thought back to our dinner. How fun it was to have A. with me to team up when teasing S. (Sorry. It's true. :) How comfortable it was being with them.

I'm not sure how to make that happen. A bit of bonding experiences. Mixed with time. Probably a pinch of magic.

~~~

Kinda hope this fling has some magic in it too.

Just so we're clear

I called you because I wanted you to be the person I called at times like these. And I needed to establish that for myself one last time.

Seems like things might change. I don't know. I'm excited and eager and anxious and afraid. And as much as I want to move on, I don't want things to change with you. Well, I guess I don't mind if things change. I just don't want any acceleration. I like the current velocity of our relationship. We've got a good pace of change in a direction I like. I'm okay with continuing that.

But I don't trust myself, or, for that matter, you, to be able to carry on in the midst of whatever else might be going on. So I call you. One more time. So that I can know that you are (or were) the person I call at times like this.

Song for writing final papers

It worked better when I misheard lyrics in this video as "When I Dream" instead of "When I Drink." But still love The Avett Brothers.



Just do your best
It's the only way to keep that last bit of sanity
Maybe I don't have to be good but I can try to be
At least a little better than I've been so far