Visits

I haven't seen S much this semester. We met at church when I first moved here, but we're both going to different congregations now. I haven't run into her when I study in the library at her seminary. We haven't even seen each other online as often.

When I have talked to her, she's invited me to come to her church. I haven't gone. Still trying to get used to not visiting a new place every other Sunday. Wanting to find a community in the Sunday School class at my new church, and that works better when you're there on Sunday. But Sunday School wasn't happening today, because people were traveling for Thanksgiving. And I wanted to focus on doing some homework today, so I texted her last night asking what time the early service was. This morning, I made a trip to the suburbs to see her sing with the praise choir.

I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier.

~~~

I put a lot of stock in visits. Friends who visit get credit (and sometimes people who don't visit get demerits). Obviously there's a lot of variation to how important a visit is, but it demonstrates the value of the relationship. The time to come out. The effort to plan. The simple support of being there.

Yes, it can be stressful to host people, witness hosting my family for this year's Thanksgiving celebration. But if you want bonus points with me, visit.

I try to visit other people too. Road trips are more fun when you see friends.* Plus, if I expect visits, it's only fair to visit others.

~~~

I arrived in the middle of the service. (It was only a half-hour long.) When the band went up again, S spotted me on the back pew and waved.

As soon as she could make her way back to me at the end of the service, she was thanking me for coming and introducing me to everyone.

She told me as we went out for coffee, that my coming allows her to show the church members she has friends. I'm not the only one who hasn't visited her new congregation yet. I'm the first who has.**

As we drove back to the church so she could lead youth group, she thanked me again. "When I saw you, I got the same sort of feeling that you get when you're a kid and your parents come to your concert." That safety of having someone who loves you. The confidence of knowing someone watching is going to be cheering for you. The comfort of a familar face.

I told S, as well as any church members who asked, that I won't return often. I have my church home. But today was a reminder of the value of visits.




*Though I am sorry when there's too little time and I don't get to catch up with everyone in the area. There's a balance between time with people and people people people.
**Granted, a lot of her friends are from seminary and busy with their own congregations on Sunday morning.

Frostbit in warm weather

This post is mostly for my own memory. I don't think it works as well here as it did when I slide it into conversation. Which I'm apt to do.

~~~

I'm telling people I got frostbite on my thumb. I've never had frostbite before (despite seven winters in the midwest) and I haven't been to the doctor, so I'm not sure about the diagnosis. But it's a reasonable explanation, even for a nice fall weekend.

Took a break from my conference to meet my cousin. I let him choose where to meet and he suggested an ice cream place. Neither one of us realized how far it was from the conference hotel.

After walking approximately 2 miles in conference shoes (the menswear heels), I should have wanted to sit down to eat our ice cream. Don't know why not, but between wanting to be outside and some maniacal glutton for punishment, we went outside.

I'd asked for a medium waffle cone, because 1) cones are more fun and 2) I hadn't had lunch because it took me so long to find the ice cream place that I hadn't stopped for a sandwich and a cone definitely increases the nutritional content of the ice cream as lunch argument. I'm convinced that they gave me an extra large cone instead. More calories? They saw my hunger? I don't know.

What I do know is that the cone started to fall apart. I'd been managing to keep up with the drips, but then cracks appeared with more drips and I'm in conference clothes. (Yes, this was a BAD plan.) My pumpkin custard and fudge brownie were not staying in there. So as we walk around the block back to the ice cream store, I'm trying to hold the huge scoops in place with my thumb.

And that is how my thumb got frostbitten.

To the question, "Didn't it hurt?" I can only offer one reply. It was Ice Cream.

Midterm Meltdown

Hi [Director of Publications],

It's not an exaggeration to say I stomped into my apartment building this evening. Stressful week at work has tapped into my insecurities and stuff this afternoon had pushed me over the edge. I unlocked my mailbox and there's a magazine in plastic. All of my other subscriptions have arrived in the past week, so I start grumbling to myself about [college alumni magazine] being wrapped in plastic. And why would my college be so environmentally unfriendly. And that's about as far as I got, before actually getting it out of the box and seeing that it's wrapped with the 2011 calendar.

Audible gasp. Yay! Thank you for bringing the calendar back!

I haven't even looked at it yet. But it's already made my evening better.

Thank you!

~~~

Nothing to do with the midterm elections. I'm not even sure it's stress about my Presentation. Everything to do with the stress of school. Playing on my insecurities. Apparently I'm not doing well at expressing myself clearly this term.

Somehow it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one overwhelmed right now.

Also, helpful to have a cohort who knows me well enough to call me while I'm in class and leave a voicemail telling me that I'm awesome. (Thanks!)

Pretend this is Tumbler or For the midterms

Because I'm quoting all of this. (For more, check out The Poetry Foundation's blog.)

Poem on the Occasion of the Midterm Election

Dream Brazil is a wash—

too expensive. Dream Antarctica again

and the cold feels good.

And I look all right there

in the big blue coat.

I never wanted to impress

anybody, so I kept it

unremarkable. The plain truth is

not enough now to change

the empire into a flower.

It is already a hummingbird

in an endless loop. No

no, they say, there’s power

still in children and old

people. There’s power in swarming

the neighbors and refusing to

die. There’s power in songs.

It’s we who are powerless.

—Matthew Rohrer

from Destroyer and Preserver, forthcoming from Wave Books

via: Wave Books