details of life: September 2011

Monday, September 5, 2011

Conversations from the past week: body

He's watching his girlfriend dance. "She never used to wear anything with spandex, but she's getting more comfortable in her body." For the first time that night, I actually look at what she's wearing: white t-shirt is normal enough but those leggings aren't the type of thing you wear when you're lacking self confidence. I don't know her story, but I can imagine having a body positive partner can only help her gain that comfort.

~~~

"My goal for next year is to look good in a bikini."

For people who I can understand the desire to lose (or gain) weight, maybe I could get on board with the goal. But as I look at my friend I can't. "Find a swimsuit you like and buy it."

Days later I realize what I want to tell her is that on a beach like this--where we're surrounded "those girls"--I feel less self-aware in my new bikini than I would in my normal tankini.

~~~

And yeah, it's easy for me to say. I'm the daughter who never had to think about metabolism. I ate healthily enough. I was active enough, though never super sporty. All to say, yea, I'm lucky.

~~~

"Of course you're hot. Why are you wearing a long-sleeves when it's 90 degrees outside?"

It was nearing laundry time. All that was left was the beach clothes. She doesn't like her arms. Feels more comfortable when they're covered up. So the fall-weight sweater was the practical choice.

~~~

I'm not sure how I should respond to my friends. How do you guide people towards body positivity without shaming where they're at now? How do we change the conversation from doubt to confidence? Or move away from an obsession?

September 4

One jar of salsa.

1 pint tomatillos, husks removed, small slash in the top of each
1 jalapeño, chopped, some seeds included, some removed
1 small onion, sorta chopped
Splash of water
Juice from one lime, way older than it should be
Few leaves from cilantro plant on the windowsill

Put the tomatillos, jalapeño, onion, and a splash of water in a small pot. Bring to a boil. Simmer until all of the vegetables are soft, stirring occasionally. At some point add the juice of the lime.

Once the onions are soft (they're the slowest to cook, the tomatillos should have become saucy), put everything in the blender. Whir it for a second. Add in the cilantro. Whir a bit more. Pour into jar to use in the next few weeks. Clean out blender with any chips you have around the house.