Visits

I haven't seen S much this semester. We met at church when I first moved here, but we're both going to different congregations now. I haven't run into her when I study in the library at her seminary. We haven't even seen each other online as often.

When I have talked to her, she's invited me to come to her church. I haven't gone. Still trying to get used to not visiting a new place every other Sunday. Wanting to find a community in the Sunday School class at my new church, and that works better when you're there on Sunday. But Sunday School wasn't happening today, because people were traveling for Thanksgiving. And I wanted to focus on doing some homework today, so I texted her last night asking what time the early service was. This morning, I made a trip to the suburbs to see her sing with the praise choir.

I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier.

~~~

I put a lot of stock in visits. Friends who visit get credit (and sometimes people who don't visit get demerits). Obviously there's a lot of variation to how important a visit is, but it demonstrates the value of the relationship. The time to come out. The effort to plan. The simple support of being there.

Yes, it can be stressful to host people, witness hosting my family for this year's Thanksgiving celebration. But if you want bonus points with me, visit.

I try to visit other people too. Road trips are more fun when you see friends.* Plus, if I expect visits, it's only fair to visit others.

~~~

I arrived in the middle of the service. (It was only a half-hour long.) When the band went up again, S spotted me on the back pew and waved.

As soon as she could make her way back to me at the end of the service, she was thanking me for coming and introducing me to everyone.

She told me as we went out for coffee, that my coming allows her to show the church members she has friends. I'm not the only one who hasn't visited her new congregation yet. I'm the first who has.**

As we drove back to the church so she could lead youth group, she thanked me again. "When I saw you, I got the same sort of feeling that you get when you're a kid and your parents come to your concert." That safety of having someone who loves you. The confidence of knowing someone watching is going to be cheering for you. The comfort of a familar face.

I told S, as well as any church members who asked, that I won't return often. I have my church home. But today was a reminder of the value of visits.




*Though I am sorry when there's too little time and I don't get to catch up with everyone in the area. There's a balance between time with people and people people people.
**Granted, a lot of her friends are from seminary and busy with their own congregations on Sunday morning.