Getting around

I believe in public transportation, but after two weekends of public transit I am not visiting list guy again without a car.

Some places (where I live now) are fine to visit without a car. Some are near impossible unless you’re on a bike tour or run across the nation campaign (where I lived then). I can get to him on the bus. And he doesn’t have a car. So we should be good?

Except. 

He rides a bike and I don’t.

And the buses near him are designed for weekday commutes and I visit on weekends.

And he’s okay not knowing who’s giving him a ride home at the end of the evening. I burst into tears when it’s late and it’s loud and I’m exhausted and I want to go home and we don’t have a plan.*

If he ends up o the wrong side of everywhere, he’s okay walking in the middle of the night for hours. I start asking how to get a cab. I hate spending money on cabs in my city. But then, I can almost always get home on transit. The rides might be long, but the stops aren’t miles away from my place and the waits aren’t going to be nearly an hour long.

I know bringing my car will bring it’s own issues of parking and navigation, but suspect it will help bridge more obstacles than it creates.

I wrote this post on my bus

The one I take pretty much every weekday

Ironic or point in case? I'm not sure which.

*Doesn’t that make you want to invite me to your next party? 

Postsecret

Question:

Answer:
Yes.  They may not announce it to the church. They may not even tell it to the one(s) they love. But yes.

I'm sure the loved's response varies based on the situation. I am grateful that (atheist) list boy comes to church with me. The people that know him are humored by it. The people I've told at church are initially confused by it and then supportive.

I'm not trying to convert him. I am trying to share a part of myself that is foreign to him. He started coming to church with me without my asking him to. He invited me to the worship he attended as a child, despite obviously not attending anymore. It reassures me that while we have deep religious differences, he can be open to mine. If anything, I need to learn how to be open to his.

Not sure how our parents will handle all this.

I haven't mentioned it to mine.

Can't really tell what his father knows.

I'm trusting everyone to trust us. 

Weekend Snapshots: Last Student Graduation Edition

Things to remember from this weekend:

• The immediate feeling of forgetting what the city is like. Accepting it's a different world.
• Hug attack when my girl saw me.
• "I'm glad you made it," from her mom.
• Gossip sessions with everyone. Hearing their redemption stories.
• Swimming in the lake. Even if I didn't jump off the cliff.
• Wandering trails a mile from where I used to live, but never knew about.
• Being told, "It's good you left when you did."
• Sprinkle ice cream cones and cheese balls.
• Telling the Hallmark movie it's being ridiculous for not having any mud on the cars driving a dirt road to camp. Looking at my dust-covered rental as proof. 
• Getting to know my replacement. A year after she's been replaced.
• Sitting outside writing the goodbye letters.
• Shout-out during the graduation speech. 
• Nicknaming my girl's friend within minutes of meeting him.
• Meeting my other girl's fiance.
• Worrying about their future. Even the ones you don't worry about, you do.
• Seeing past graduates. The one home from military for a few weeks. The baby-daddy holding his kid. The college-girl set to graduate. The runaway this time honestly released from jail. The college freshman pumped for next year. The gangsters chilling.
• "I knew this is what you were getting me." "Good. I mean, I told you years ago. Had to look hard to get the right color pink."
• Interrupting conversation every few minutes with, "Wow. You really can see the eclipse."
• Failed cell phone calls. Of course.
• Cooking with the roommate. Because we miss doing that.
• Getting a warning for speeding. Despite a rental car and an out of state license.
• Realizing I never spent time in the city when I lived here.  Driving new routes, discovering better food, exploring new parks.
• Reconsidering calling a place this size a city.
• Reading this post in the airport. Watching the video. Finally starting my cathartic cry.

[Edit: things that I forgot]

• Watching Grey’s and sharing a bottle of good wine, because that’s what we do.
• Going out stargazing. Deciding not to turn around, but to follow the other path back. Failing to find the other path. (Ooops.)
• 34 graduates. Optimistic 9 going away to college. Cross your fingers for that ninth one.

Alas

This was the week I was going to get things done.

Next week I travel to see my girls graduate. The next week I'll be here, but preoccupied with A's wedding.

So this week was to get things done.

Monday started off okay. Despite waking up with a cold, I put in a full day. And actually had things to show. Tuesday, I managed a decent half day. And Wednesday I had a couple of hours of work.

And Thursday was when I finally started calling it the flu instead of a cold.

Fever's been gone for over a day. But I still feel awful. And am not sure when the work will get done. But now, it's time to veg some more. Hoping that will let my body recuperate.

I'm a bad patient

My Sister The Nerd Lover

She complained that my college wasn't nerdy enough. "But seriously the college got rid of the Linux lab my sophomore year. That was a huge factor in my decision. Tsk Tsk."

I didn't understand. Nor do I have sympathy for her. You, my dear friends, are nerds enough for me.

The problem is that we have different frames of reference. My high school didn't have so much of the nerds. Her's was an extreme.

Case in point. She's applying for cool jobs now, so I'm stalking the jobs page of every cool start-up. This apparently leads to me looking at photos of "generic looking nerds." My sister's reaction, "Hey, I think I know that person."

So today, she mentions that one of the people from her high school is working at a well-known start-up (whose page I happened to be examining yesterday). I go back to the page and scroll around as we talk about the lack of women in the field. (The recruitment team was skewed toward women though maybe not as much as engineer team was toward men.) I comment about how there are nerds and then there are people who really stand out as nerds. Extra pale skin. Extra nerdy props. Turns out of all the people working at the start-up, the guy I picked out as the nerdiest is the one she knows.

A nerd among nerds I tell you.

Now then, I'm off to read Girl Genius.

I don't really care that you can see the end of the story coming a mile away

I'm writing it to remember it for me, more than to amuse you

Rites of Passage

I've been spotted around his neighborhood. Ran into matchmaker's father two weekends ago. I worried that I was hungry and tired and coming down with a cold, but was assured, "The whole neighborhood is pleased with your visits to his parents house."

His parents pulled out the baby pictures last weekend. Diapered-butt on full display as he hung on to the crib and stared out the widow.

My parents got to see a picture of the two of us together. Dressed for church and cooking breakfast. (Thank you Aunt who stalks Facebook.)

I've heard some of his family stories often enough that I could probably tell them. Might get some details wrong, but could probably catch the spirit. (It's funny which stories get evoked most often. I hear more about his sister than I do about him.)


We're planning our first trips together. Reunion for me. Cabin weekend with the matchmakers. I'm curious about what stories we'll add to our repertoire.

Something to make me smile

Two weeks ago was the funeral.

Which means that two and three-quarters weeks ago I changed my computer background to what it was through most of my undergrad years.


My grandparents. Years and years ago. I think of it as "the courtship photo." My sister refers to it as "argyle socks."

But really it shows me love and style. Something a little bit classic and a little bit comfort.

It lets me sneak a glimpse of the past to give myself hope for the future.

You should comment on the adorableness of the photo.
Maybe not so much the opening sentence,
though know your thoughts and love are felt and appreciated.

Sliver of the awesomeness of the past month

42. Lead a swingout.

I need to practice a whole lot more before I can lead a swingout on the social floor without, as the friend I tried it on phrased it, "concentrating so hard." But, I can do it!

44. Go to the opera (and stay for the entire show)

Made it through the whole show without a single cough!

Five Weeks

Five weeks ago I added this to the list:

30. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with a boy

Maybe not “my boy” but it felt adorable just the same. The night before I left the county, I took some friends up on their ice skating invite. It's one of the parts of living in a Northern city that I feel like people talk about wanting to do, more than actually doing. I'm glad I did it.

Three weeks and a couple of days ago I bought a pair of ice skates. Renting them costs $6-$10 dollars a time. Good skates from a good store cost about $80. I have at least three winters left in a city with free rinks. The math seemed favorable.

The next day I went on a first date. We went ice skating.

We have been ice skating every weekend since. Yesterday was our first time at my city's most visible rink. Skating around a city ice rink holding hands with the guy I'm dating and feeling pretty adorable. Check!

Young'un

Finding of the day: I am 8 days older than one of the youngest students in the first year cohort.

She got very puzzled trying to do the math of how I ended up two years ahead of her in the program.

Also, almost everyone I'm TAing is older than me.

Sometimes I forget how much earlier I came to this program than most people do.